Bariatric Betty, Centurion, has a long week

It's for real this time.  After I stepped on the scale and it read 143.4 pounds this morning I didn't get excited.  I stepped off and let it recalibrate - because it's faked me out before.  Three times later, I believe it.  I have lost 100 pounds!  My BMI is down to 25.9 from it's high of 43.2.  So, today isn't really that different than every other day that I work the program, and nothing changes other than how I'll answer people when they ask how much I've lost and my new nickname for myself.  Centurion.  Wikipedia says it was a professional officer who commanded sometimes 100, but more often 60 - 80 soldiers.  I'm in command of my body, and I've discharged 100 pounds that were not fit for service.  :)

This is not to say the road has been easy.  Last Friday I had an epic fail - my first dump from knowingly eating something I shouldn't.  Damn glaze.

Like everyone else, the news from New Town hit me hard - especially because I work in an elementary school and I couldn't help thinking of all of "my kids" as well as my sons in such a tragedy.  So I thought I was handling it well when my first thing I did after work was take my dog for a 2 mile walk.  Then my 3rd grader son got off the school bus and told me he got in trouble for telling a friend he was "going to beat the crap out of" him.  What?!?  My first response to him was "I'm just happy you're home safe - give me a hug".  But then I spent the next couple hours talking with him about why "using your words" doesn't include threatening someone.  About how some children are not as lucky as him and come from homes where they get hit - sometimes so badly that they can't live with their parents anymore.  That while he knows he wouldn't actually beat someone up, that doesn't mean that anybody else should believe that.  I prepared my husband for the possibility that he could be suspended for threatening a student.  I prepared my son for that possibility as well, explaining that if anybody threatened him I would want them to have serious consequences.  The teacher gave some consequences and defused the situation, but she would still need to involve the principal, and we wouldn't know the outcome until this week.  Then we talked about his consequences at home.  After lengthy conversation, we decided that we would try to focus on something positive and use his saved allowance for December to go shopping for Toys for Tots on Saturday.  He picked out a toy that he hopes to get for Christmas himself and paid for it.  Then he put it in the donation box and we talked about how that was going to help a kid less fortunate than him have a happier Christmas. 

Back to Friday night, and I was finishing some cookies for a coworker.  Cookies that get dipped in glaze.  I licked my fingers, and then started scooping up the drops of glaze that dripped of the drying cookies.  About 2 tablespoons later, my stomach started to feel bad.  I threw out the rest of the glaze as soon as the cookies were finished, but the damage was done.  I had to call my 12 year old in to finish making dinner while I crawled into bed.  Owwwwwwwww.  My moaning scared the heck out of my husband when he got home.  I felt nauseous as well, but there was nothing to throw up - the thick sugar water had been absorbed and I was blessed to dump.  So that's how I celebrated the 7th night of Hanukkah - being thankful for the small miracle of dumping.  My guilt over my husband having to jump in to take care of the kids while I recovered was significant.  And then he came and talked to me.  He told me that he knew I got a lot out of baking, and that I seem to do really well controlling my intake except for when I get glaze all over my fingers...  He made me a wonderful offer.  From now on, when I make the cookies with glaze, he said HE will glaze them for me.  How cool is that?  Not only is he going to help me keep making healthy choices and enjoy my hobby, now he is going to turn something that I really enjoy doing into something every better - because he is going to do it with me!  I'm so excited!  I won't be making any more until next November/ December, but now we have a plan and I'm really looking forward to it.  His idea gave me control over this ever happening again.  I'm so lucky to have him as my husband. 

Of course, having a plan for cookie baking doesn't take care of the emotions that come with the death of innocent children.  We decided that our whole family should try to look for opportunities for random acts of kindness for the next 20 days.  So far we've donated some toys, given away closer parking spots, helped a stranger find something and opened numerous doors for others.  Last year we helped pay off someone's layaway, and we'll probably look into doing that again this year.  I'll keep looking for ways to help others, be grateful for the health and safety of my family, and keep working the program. 

Speaking of work, my job has shifted again.  I'm now working the same hours but instead of being a monitor for kindergarten, 1st, and 3rdd graders during lunch and recess daily I'm working with two special needs kids (one kindergartener, one 4th grader).  They both have significant issues that require 1-on-1 attention and help eating.  Some parts of this are very fulfilling, other parts are not - like chasing after them when they bolt/ have a tantrum.  Or yesterday when the 4th grader bit my arm (luckily not breaking the skin) hard enough that it's still sore with bruising today.  The main down sides are that (except for running after them if they bolt) I don't get my extra 5000 steps in walking around like I ued to checking in on all of the kids, and I also don't have the chance to help kids with the jungle of playground drama issues they have to figure out as they get older.  My major accomplishment this week is that I've gotten my kindergartner ward to actually eat most of his lunch without running away screaming 4 days in a row.  That's huge. 

When I see kids struggling whether with special needs like autism, or behavioral issues, or just normal growing pains ("...she said she was my friend, but now she says she's not!") I want to help.  It's easier and more fun when it's helping kids be better friends than helping someone toilet or eat.  But, in both cases I feel like I'm having a positive impact on others even if I don't feel it every day.  That's something I need to feel in my life - even if they're not able to verbalize "thank you".  Luckily, my bosses have reacted positively to my request for more training so I know how to handle physical outburst more safely for both the kid and myself in the future!

My son ended up working with the school psychologist on a social story/ plan on what to do when he gets angry, which I sincerely appreciate.  While part of me wishes they had given some additional punitive conequences so he understood how seriously the schools take threatening to beat someone up, I'm glad they took the opportunity to help him figure out how to deal with tough situations in the future.  When he was first diagnosed with developmental delays and a speech disorder, we never guessed that he would be ABLE to speak well enough to get in trouble for verbally threatening someone.  So I guess as long as he has learned never to do that again, maybe I should think of this whole thing as a reminder of how lucky we are. 

Christmas is around the corner (we're an interfaith family, so we celebrate a lot of holidays) and my boys are excited.  My third grader sent a letter to Santa in his elf's backpack last night (taping it closed to make sure it didn't fall out on the trip - so cute!), and I've been handing out packages of Christmas cookies to teachers and coworkers. I pray that the holidays find all of you with your loved ones, safe and healthy, warm and thankful for your own blessings.  Heaven knows I'm thankful for mine, most of which are in the picture below.

 

Bariatric Betty goes to Williamsburg Part 2 - Ups and Downs

So when I left off, we had reached hot and muggy Colonial Williamsburg.  I packed a Quest Protein bar to eat at lunch, assuming that finding bariatric friendly vegetarian food would be just about impossible.  We ended up stopping at The Cheese Shoppe, where I did try a sample of a delicious Basil Cheddar (OMG!) and got a cup of fresh fruit salad to go with my protein bar.  I could only eat about 1/2 a cup of the fresh fruit salad, but that was about what I expected and shared the rest with my family. 

Later, after exploring a cool toy store with my boys, the whole group headed over to a Baskin Robbins for a cold treat.  I'm happy to say that this doesn't bother or tempt me in any way - I used to ADORE ice cream, but fear of dumping and even bigger fear of NOT dumping (non-Weight Loss Surgery readers, see note below) means I have no cravings for the stuff so far.  So I was waiting in line to place orders for everyone while the rest of the group found chairs to collapse in (did I mention it was REALLY hot?) when I got an urge to visit the restroom.  Hmm.  I asked my mother to take my place in line and went over to the women's restroom.  1 single stall, currently in use with another woman ahead of me in line.  OK, no prob.  Stronger urge.  Hmm.  Maybe there is another one nearby?  I took four steps away to look out the window to see what other storefronts looked promising and when I turned around, another woman had gotten in line where I used to be.  Problem.  Super strong urge.  I walked to the other side of the store, crossed my fingers, and YES!  The men's room was empty.  And then I comandeered it, because I was NOT going to be able to make it to another store. 

Painful.  Explosive.  Draining.  15 minutes later I made it back out, and needed to go home.  Luckily, everybody else looked almost as tired as I felt, so they were of the same mind (and worried about me).  Catching a bus back to the visitors center took long enough that I had to find another restroom, but it was almost over.  When I got back to the condo I slept for two hours, and woke up feeling normal. 


What the heck was that?  Dumping?  Off my protein bar and 1/2 cup of fruit plus maybe 0.2 ounces of cheese?  I've had all of those things numerous times without problem.  I have no idea.  But if it was, then I literally SHUDDER to think what would happen if I ever ate ice cream. 

***Note to my non-Weight Loss Surgery readers.  Dumping is a post-surgical reaction that bariatric patients can have to eating too many carbs or fat (or both).  It can involve nausea, diarrhea, rapid heart beat, feeling flushed/ feverish, and just generally feeling like something stomped on you.  Dumping is described as an adverse affect of surgery, and is not suffered by everyone.  However, many patients (including me) feel that the threat of dumping is a good negative reinforcer to help you choose healthy choices.   One of my goals is to NOT find out if I dump on high fat/ high sugar/ high carb things because if I find out I don't then that "threat" of possibly dumping goes away and things become more tempting.  What happened to me might have had nothing to do with my pouch and just more to do with the stress of the heat and the trip or a virus.

Back at the condo the family played in the pool (well, not me that day) and then played games and watched TV.  Meeting "Thomas Jefferson" was fun, and I would have loved to talk to more of the colonialists, but the real fun was watching everybody horse around in the pool, or moan because somebody else kicked there butts at a game, and knowing that nobody had to go to work the next day. 

The next day was hotter, so we again enjoyed Colonial Williamsburg briefly before heading back to swim some more.  I enjoyed my protein bar and a little cheese without incident (whew).  The next day was the hottest yet - a heat index of 110 degrees!  Even the fort of Jamestown held little interest for my sons in the face of the heat, but they toughed it out for about an hour - mostly enjoying the air conditioned archeological museum!  I was able to eat a slice of spinach quiche for lunch (without crust or any later problems), and then we settled in for an afternoon of watching rentals from Redbox at the condo.  When it cooled off there were water balloons and more time at the pool - more memories :)

That night a huge storm swept across Ohio, West Virginia, Virgina, and Maryland.  Our area was not in the path of destruction.  I'm a light sleeper, so I was up listening to the storm while the rest of the family slept.  However, it wasn't until the next morning when we starting heading out towards home that the severity of the storm became clear.  As we drove north we started seeing the power outages and hearing about the deaths. 

How blessed we were to not be caught in that!  We might have had trouble finding an open gas station for about 50 miles, been inconvienced a little, but thinking of the millions of people without power during the heat wave?  The hundreds of thousands who had damaged homes and cars?  The dozen families who were mourning the loss of loved ones - and how many people didn't know yet if their families were OK? 

We might not have gotten as many pictures as I wanted, or gotten to see the boys dress up in period clothing, or explored the ships in Jamestown.  But I got to spend a whole week with my extended family, and then we all came home safe.  And thanks to my hyper planning for my pouch and family's needs - we even had enough water and food to eat (and offer to others off the highway) while we searched for gas stations.  I came home feeling lucky and loved by my family.  What more could I ask for from a family vacation.?

P.S. - I did, however, find myself hoping I DIDN'T win the VA Lottery I bought a ticket for while I was there, because I didn't want to have to drive back there to claim a prize.  I guess that is a good sign of road trip exhaustion: when you find yourself saying "I hope I didn't win thousands or millions of dollars because that would meam more driving!" LOL. 

P.P.S - I was also surprised to find that I actually lost weight on the trip while I ate the same calories and had less exercise for a whole week!  Bonus.  I am taking this as an indicator that maybe my intake of calories needs to go up a little now that I'm back on the high activity horse.  And happy to be done with my first stall!