Results of my first 5-day Pouch Test

I started my 5-Day pouch test a week ago, on the first evening of Passover.  For those who aren't familiar with the concept, the pouch test condenses the eating restrictions given to us as WLS post-ops into 5 days. Instead of being on liquids (mostly protein shakes) for two weeks, I was on them for two days.  Then instead of being on pureed/ super soft foods for 2 weeks, I was on them for the next 2 days.  The fifth day I returned to my normal post-WLS diet.  My surgeon said he has no problem with people doing the 5 day pounch test occasionally.  Of course, all WLS patients should check with their programs before they change their eating habits, even temporarily.

The reason for people doing the pouch test are two fold.  It is called a pouch "test" because after RNY/ Gastic Bypass post-ops have been over a year or two out, many start eating more food.  This can lead to pouch and stoma stretching, which starts to defeat the purpose of having such a baby-sized tummy (helping us get full quicker and stay full longer, also slowing digestion so that we can absorb as much of the nutrients as possible with our jejunum being bypassed).  Much like starting to eat after being very ill from the flu or other GI illness, after being on fluids for a while, you "feel" the food in your stomach more, and can become re-sensitized to cues of being satisfied before you over-eat.  This way you know that your pouch and stoma size are still working appropriately.

The second reason deals with the main problem most of us have - our heads.  Being restricted to protein shakes and the like forces us off the carbs that sneak back in to our diets.  Anyone who has tried to dramatically restrict flour, sugar, and other carbs from their diet knows that the first couple days are the hardest, but then you don't crave them as much after that.  It's both a physical and mental detox in some ways.  Being on protein shakes reminds us that we no longer choose what to eat based on taste - we choose it based on fuel our body needs.  Believe me, nobody would choose whey protein shakes for the taste.

Day 1: I drank 3 Syntrax Nectar Fuzzy Navel protein shakes over the first 24 hours.  While I am more tired than normal, the first thing I didn't anticipate was the return of the chills due to my greatly decreased caloric intake.  While I only eat about 1200-1300 calories on a given day, this took me down to about 750.  I also planned to use the Syntrax vanilla shakes to make the fake "Shamrock Shakes" recipe from the helpful website www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com that I enjoyed as a post-op.   However, I was so cold I couldn't stand to make an iced drink, so I tried heating it up instead.  Ugh.  Predictably gross.  So, I used another packet of the vanilla to make some protein pudding (sugar free) with skim milk.  I had another 12 grams of protein from the pudding that first day.  First psychological observation: I don't feel hungry AT ALL.  If I'm going to feel hungry while getting all my protein in, it's when I'm only drinking the protein so it isn't staying in my stomach for long.  That means that if I'm getting in my protein when I'm eating my regular diet, any "hunger" I feel isn't real.  It's head hunger (feeling like you should be eating due to habit, emotional eating cues, etc).  Since I always get my protein in, ALL of my "hunger" sensations are fake/ unreliable.  Wow.

Day 2: I again drank the 3 Fuzzy Navel protein shakes and had some sugar-free protein pudding.  Note to others - Jello Sugar Free Lemon Pudding mix worked well.  I was down a couple of pounds already, which was not surprising.  No hunger, still.  Something I noticed more was that I was needing to watch myself very carefully to make sure I wasn't licking my fingers or taking a taste of something that I was preparing for the rest of the family.  I remember doing that a lot the first few weeks post-op.  Now I realize how much I have been licking off the spoons and knives, not to mention taking a bite of pasta to check if it's done, etc.

Day 3: I began my puree/ super soft foods with ricotta cheese mixed with some garlic salt, spaghetti sauce, and some mozzarella melted on top.  Ahhhh, the joy of savory flavors after two days of sweet is wonderful!  I'm down another pound, and still cold most of the time.  I had another eye-opening experience.  Last night I had a dream that I used to have frequently as a recent post-op.  In it, I find myself finishing off some cereal/ other non-bariatric friendly food that my kids have left over.  Then I wake up thinking I have really done that and feel awful.  As I realize it was just a dream, I feel a sense of relief and joy.  I am doing it.  I AM resetting my brain to it's original post-op state.  This is working.  I also enjoyed some runny scrambled eggs.

Day 4: No additional weight loss today.  Eating my runny scrambled eggs I realize that I'm perfectly satisfied with them.  For over a year I have been eating my scrambled eggs with sliced tomatoes, garlic salt, and melted mozzarella on top.  Those things are unnecessary for me to feel satisfied, and just add more calories, sodium, and fat than just another egg worth of egg beaters.  I'm no longer as cold.  Real food starts again tomorrow, and I'm looking forward to it, although I'll just stick with the plain scrambled egg beaters for breakfast.

Day 5: Down another 1/2 pound.  I'm back to my regular foods.  Lentils and onions with greek yogurt and cheddar cheese, sauteed julienned zucchini with vegetarian "meat" sauce and mozzarella, scrambled egg beaters.  Everything tastes great.  I'm eating a little less than I used to (my dogs are getting more leftovers).  I feel recommitted and renewed.  I am DEFINITELY going to make this an annual thing - probably on my surgiversary from now on.

Two days later, and my weight is still down, even though I'm eating regular foods.  What I'm not doing is licking spoons, tasting my kids food, etc (all stuff I shouldn't have been doing).  I'm not feeling very tempted by cravings, either.  For me this pouch test did exactly what I was hoping it would - reset my mind and help me reconnect with my commitment to staying healthy.  I didn't think my pouch or stoma had stretched, and feel confident that it won't if I keep following the rules.

Happy Earth Day!

Truths! Birthdays, Graduation, and pics

I'm really trying to stay honest, and embrace the truth even when it hurts.  Here's my latest confession - I love butter/ margarine.  This is embarrassing - but I've loved it since I was a child.  My mom tells about me climbing out of my highchair and onto the thanksgiving table to sit down and chew on a stick of butter at my grandmother's while everybody was in the kitchen when I was 15 months old.  I used to stick my finger into the tub of margarine and scoop out a little once in a while as a kid.  As I grew up I grew out of it - or should I say changed things I liked to eat that weren't good for me. 

Since my surgery, really in the last couple months, I have rediscovered my taste for margarine.  That sounds gross doesn't it?  I think part of it is craving fat - which even with a tablespoon or two of margarine a day my consumption stays low (yes, I have been logging it).  That melt-in-your mouth feeling is part of it.  There lies a truth - if it melts in your mouth, it's liquid calories - a BIG NO-NO and major rule breaking.  So, just like I had to make a big change when I realized I was starting to compulsively eat popcorn, I'm going to have to make a big change here.  No more buying tubs of margarine.  I will buy sticks of butter, which I have no craving for, whatsoever.  Logical?  Of course not - it's a crazy psych thing.  Oh the webs our tricky brains weave.  I can use sticks of butter for everything cooking-wise that I use tubs for, and not be tempted.  Yesterday I threw out the tub that was in my fridge.  Wonder what the next thing is my brain will try to tempt me with...

On to a more positive truth - I got my new driver's license!  The truth part is that I actually put my REAL weight on the license for the first time in my life.  Not even my lowest weight, but the pound higher that I was on the day I renewed it.  I thought I needed to renew it by my birthday but it turns out I didn't have to renew it until next year.  Yeah, it was written right on the license, I know... But I decided to renew it early because I don't look like my license anymore.  And I'm 50 pounds lighter than the LIE I had on my old license.  But I took pictures of my old and new license (with all the potential identity theft info blocked out) for memories sake (and this blog). 

 

OK, so that's my old license.  I listed my weight at 190, which was 53 less than I weighed at my highest.  When the picture was taken I might have been 235.  I remember being relatively happy with the picture, because it only showed two chins.  I spent a lot of time on my hair and makeup that day, too. 

... and here's my new one!  I LOVE looking at those two pictures next to each other.  An added bonus is that people will actually believe it's my I.D. when I am asked to show it :) 

I still think that they should just have a digital scale built into the floor at the license bureau.  That way when you step up for your turn it would automatically weigh you and the they wouldn't have to ask your weight.  It's embarrassing for the average person to say their weight out loud to someone, and mortifying for the obese.  Plus, it's not like most people tell the truth!  Heaven forbid something had happened to me two years ago and they found my body.  I can see them saying "Oh, this probably isn't her, she's much heavier than the person we're looking for..." 

My birthday is in two days, and my mom offered to come spend the morning with me for a "girl's day" - something we used to do when I was little, and have tried to make time for occasionally now that I'm a grownup.  I asked my boys (10 and 13) for the birthday present of them watching themselves (without killing and bugging each other) for a few hours for my birthday present.  My mom is going to come and go on a nice long walk with me and my dogs.  Then she's going to come with me to a jewelry store.  All of my rings are WAY to big.  I'm guessing I'm wearing a 6 1/2 now - my old rings are 8 1/2.  I don't feel the need to spend the money to resize everything, but I've been wrapping medical tape around my wedding band and engagement ring for over a year now and want to get that done!  I'm thinking about instead of having several rings resized I would look at combining stones into a new setting.  I have no idea how much that will be, but want to explore options and get a sense of how much money I will have to save up.  Then we might go to a bookstore and browse...aaaah, the luxury of doing that without having the kids interrupt me twenty times.

I got an email this morning inviting me to my Center for Bariatric Surgery graduation!  In our program, if you have met your goal and kept it off for over a year, you are invited to that year's graduation party.  It's a formal event at a really nice hotel, and will be happening in October.  The only sad thing is that my surgeon has left the practice.  So I'm sad that when I walk across the stage with a slide show of my before and after pcitures I won't get to shake Dr. Ben-Meir's hand.  :( But, I'm really excited to be in the graduating class of 2013.  I need to start looking for an AWESOME dress.  Oh, and saving up for it, too. 

Bariatric Betty's Try-it-athlon

My 1st Triathlon "ink"

Wow.  Triathlons are EXHAUSTING.  I know, big shock, right?  I went into this with my eyes open, and with some helpful advice from my husband (a former triathlete).  Paraphrasing here: "Be prepared that when you go from the swimming to the biking you legs feel awful, because your arms have been getting most of the blood flow.  Then when you go from the bike to the run it's even worse, because your legs feel all floppy."  OK, so why did you enjoy doing triathlons again?  No seriously, I was lucky to have his advice, because otherwise I could imagine I might have thought I was having serious neurological issues.  This was a mini-triathlon - I ended up swimming about 1/2 mile in the 15 minute swim, rode 7.75 miles in the 20 minute bike, and ran 2 miles in the 20 minute run.  The run I'm very proud of, because I usually jog an 11 minute mile, so I was really pushing myself to run that fast after the bike and swim!  Even more tiring at times, however, was the mental exercise. 

Backing up - I have not done a lot of athletic competitions in my life, mostly because I've never been very good at them.  Since I had bariatric surgery this has changed - I have a lot more confidence to compete and enjoy it, even if I'm not going to win.  As an overweight child I was on a swimming team, a diving team, and a community league soccer team (no tournaments or chances for ribbons/ medals trophies).  The swim team practice was fun for a while, until we start having our meets.  I loved swimming and getting faster/ better. 

Then came our first big meet.  I was a good distance swimmer, but not particularly fast.  Definitely not one of the superstars of our team.  Still, I hoped to place third or second at some meets that year, and maybe the next year I would be even faster.  I really enjoyed swimming with my friends, and I loved the fact that we got to eat candy Ring Pops in between our races to keep our energy up.  I was supposed to compete in freestyle (the 400 I think) and breaststroke (probably the 200).  I might have been in some team medly races as well, doing free, breast, or backstroke.  The one thing I couldn't master for the life of me was the butterfly.  I understood the principal, but couldn't get the timing/ coordination down. 

So, the meet is about to start and my coach pulls me over.  He wants me to swim the 100 butterfly.  "But Coach, I can't swim butterfly."  "Yes," explained the coach "but one of our guys who was going to swim this race isn't here, and I don't want to leave an empty lane.  And I don't want to tire out my best swimmers by adding another race to their meet."  In other words, because he didn't want to have an empty lane, he was perfectly happy to put me in a race I couldn't even do and not mind tiring me out before the races I had a slim chance of placing in.  Yeah, that worked out well.  I felt humiliated as I fumbled through two lengths of quasi-butterfly, finishing far after everyone else.  And then I was exhausted and came in last for my original races (granted, that might have happened regardless).  Needless to say, swim team was no longer fun.  I had learned how much value the coach placed on me (a negligible place holder) and found going to meets embarrassing and humiliating. 

Fast forward to yesterday when I was swimming in the triathlon.  My first thought as I was starting was actually for the woman sharing the lane with me - she had mentioned she "wasn't much of a swimmer" before we started and seeing her start I realized she was not being falsely modest.  I was worried about her making it through the swim, but luckily we were in a shallow enough lane that she could stand up at any point and be ok.  All of the sudden, I realize that I'm in my first swimming race since that swim team year.  Whoa.  My life is totally different now.  I'm a grown woman, healthy weight, and strong.  Nobody is making me do anything.  I realize I don't have to be competing against anyone in the pool with me - I can compete with myself, trying to do the best I can, which might just be finishing the race.  Then, I realize that I actually am swimming faster than at least a couple of people in the race.  My lane partner, for one.  She has stopped several times and stood up to catch her breath.  And a guy a couple people over.  Huh.  Still, I keep swimming and just try to focus on myself.  My breathing, my stroke, hit the flip turn, glide and kick, my breathing...etc.  And after a minute or two everything settles down.  I'm just swimming laps, like I always do.  And 15 minutes isn't a long swim for me.  I realize that if I take it easy (I don't want to push to hard at swimming since I have two other events to come) I will finish the swim and feel good, this doesn't have to feel stressful.  And suddenly, it's not. 

I finished the swim feeling good.  Got changed quickly and went into the gym where the spinning bikes had been preset to our personalized settings.  Everything felt good.  I haven't been biking or spinning in the last year or so, so this was going to be my weakest event.  Again, I didn't want to wear myself out before the run, so I wasn't going to push myself too hard.  Great news - they had music (140 bpm, good for spinning) and I just got into it.  I was singing along a little, definitely keeping loose while I was riding.  My legs didn't feel bad, so my husband's warning seemed to have been for naught.  I was able to drink 24 ounces while I was biking, so hydration wasn't a problem. You know how I've got no padding left around my tailbone?  Well, that's true for everywhere a spinning bike seat hits, too. ;)  Of course, even when I was morbidly obese those things were still uncomfortable!   Anyway, I held my speed at around 105 rpm, and felt great.  Just started to break a sweat at the end of the 20 minutes.  Then they blew the whistle and I hopped off the bike, looking forward to the run and being able to push myself more.  I took one step, and....

Ohhhhhh boy!  Have you ever been on a boat for hours or days and then stepped on to dry land, only to feel like you're off balance/ the land is moving?  That's the best way I can explain trying to walk after the bike.  My legs felt rubbery, and my hips were all kinds-of-whacked-out.  I only had 5 minutes to get up to the track and I knew I NEEDED to stretch out.

Climbing the stairs to the track, I felt my hamstrings tighten up to the point it hurt.  Yup, gonna be doing stretches until it starts, just hope it loosens up... and it did.  I won't say stretching felt good, it hurt, but I was able to run without pain when the whistle blew.  Now my family started cheering me on - that felt fantastic!  "Go, Mom!"  "You're doing great, honey!" "We're so proud of you!".   My assigned lap-counter even started cheering me on; "You've got this, Becky!".  It's the last event, I don't have to hold anything in reserve, so while I paced myself for the first 18 minutes, for the last 2 minutes I ran as fast as I could.  When the whistle blew I had gone a half of a lap further than I had imagined I could in that amount of time!  Yay, me :) 

It took a minute to catch my breath, and I was sweating!  It's been a while since jogging two miles made me sweat (barring beastly hot weather).  I ate a bite of a banana to make sure I had a little carb boost until lunch time, went home, showered, made lunch and the rested.  My whole body was exhausted for the rest of the day.  My body was still a little sore Monday, but not bad.  I can't wait to find out my overall score/ placement.  Next year, I want to beat it!

This weekend I'm doing the Cleveland Clinic Healthy Solon 5k.  A bunch of the members of my local support group are going to do the 1 mile walk.  I'm so excited that so many of us will be there.  We've even got someone coming in from one of my facebook WLS groups that I've never met in person before.  Eileen, can't wait to meet you!  Pictures to follow (like you didn't guess that, right?)!

Bariatric Betty's 1st surgiversary! Pics, measurements, and excitement

Yesterday I celebrated my first surgiversary - and it was AWESOME!  My day started off with my husband, 12 year-old and 9 year-old having me sit on a bizarre contraption.  My husband had balanced a pillow on top of a folded folding chair, on top of an upholstered storage unit.  Then he took the chair legs, one son took the chair back, and the other one grabbed the chair side behind me and they lifted me up!  I felt like there should be trumpets playing - or maybe Hava Nagila ;)!

I don't have a picture of that - everybody in the house with opposing thumbs was involved and I didn't know to get my camera set up with a timer!  I did try to take a picture of me "planking" sideways while they held me up later (I was trying to copy something I'd seen someone else do) and could have gotten us on America's Funniest Home Videos if we had been taping...  Also, word of advice to WLS patients who might think that sounds good - loose skin hanging sideways in a picture is NOT your friend.  So... this is a picture of two of them presenting me with roses later on :)

 

My family has been such a support to me during my journey, and I have great confidence they will continue to be.  Here's a picture of me one year ago:

 

 

 My family stood by me then, and they stand by me now.  They understand I can't let my social interactions revolve around food.  And when we do eat out together, they try to find places I'm comfortable to eat.  All day I kept thinking about "a year ago I was in pre-op right now, a year ago I was coming out of surgery, a year ago I was talking my first walk..."  It was very emotional. 

Here's another thing that was emotional for me to do.  Make a new composite.  This is 3 months pre-op, 1 month post op, 4 months post-op, 6 months post-op, 1 year post-op.

Now for some hard figures to spell it out.  My highest weight was 243.3 pounds.  On my surgiversary I was 143 even, just over 100 pounds lost.  In the picture on the left, my weight was 237.  Here is a comparison of measurements from 3 months pre-op to today:

 

                     November 2011                2/16/2013           Inches lost

Waist            45.3 inches                      33 inches               12.3

Hips            46.5 inches                      34.5 inches               12

Chest band         41.3 inches                   33.3 inches             8  

Thigh            24 inches                     18.8 inches                 5.2

Bicep              16 inches                      11 inches                  5

Total inches lost 43.5!  I didn't measure my neck, but I can guess I lost at least 6 inches there as well.  Insane. 

Volunteering at a school event that required standing for an hour used to leave me sweating like a pig.  Now I run 5ks. 

I used to be diabetic, taking oral meds and insulin injections 4 times a day.  My diabetes was reversed the day of surgery, and now my only concern is my Reactive Hypoglycemia, which I can avoid. 

I am still being treated for depression, but my meds have been cut in half.

I now have enough energy to work outside the home, at my son's elementary school. 

I no longer need to take naps to make it through the day (although occasionally I will take one for fun)!

My biggest change is one my husband helped me realize at about 4 months post-op.  He came down one morning, looked at me and got very concerned.  "Are you OK?  Is something wrong?"  "No, why?" I replied.  "You're not smiling.  You ALWAYS smile now.  I haven't seen you not smiling since your surgery!"  It's true, I'm a much happier person now.  I still get upset occasionally, the kids can still get on my nerves, and I can still have grumpy days, but for the most part I'm very happy.  I feel like I've got everything I have ever really wanted.  Loving friends and family, a safe home, being appreciated at work, and being healthy. 

This is GREAT, but now comes the hard part.  My sense of hunger is coming back.  My pouch can hold more than it used to.  There won't be much more changes in my measurements.  My weight is stable +/- 2 pounds daily.  I am going to keep trying to get my body fat percentage down a bit, but as it will be replaced by muscle, it won't show up on the scale.  The compliments will decrease as more and more people get used to seeing me, or never knew the bigger me.  I have to keep working the program, eating according to the rules, exercising the same - or I will regain.  My calorie consumption will need to stay about 1200 calories a day at my current activity level.  I dump, so I will not be able to indulge in carbs without getting sick - and that's a good thing. 

I will eat to live, not live to eat.  I will find ways to treat myself that don't have anything to do with food - like yesterday.  I was properly fitted for new bras by a pro named Nancy at Nordstrom's.  My 4 new bras cost over $300, but I'm going to be wearing the heck out of them so I know I'll get at least 100 wears out of each, and they do EVERYTHING I needed them to do, plus - they're PRETTY.  People who have never been obese might not know but it is very hard to find a really supportive and comfortable bra size 44DD/EE.  Forget about it being attractive.   It was hard to swallow that bill yesterday, but it was harder to swallow the similarly ones for bras that looked awful. 

My next treat will be getting my rings re-sized.  I have been winding medical tape around them to keep them from falling off.  It will take a while to save up for it, because I'm going to incorporate some stones from other rings (my 10th anniversary and my late mother-in-law's ring) as well. 

It comes down to making the right choices every day.  Most days I do really well, but some days I don't.  I recently read Al Roker's "Never Goin' Back" and feel the same way.  This will never be "over", but I will never go "back" either.  It is worth everything to be here for my family longer, and be able to enjoy life more.  I give thanks to my family, friends, surgeon, and God for this second chance at life.  Forward!
 

Bariatric Betty starts 2013 with Reactive Hypoglycemia

Scary.  That's how I can sum up my first (and hopefully last) experience with Reactive Hypoglycemia.  Reactive Hypoglycemia occurs 1 - 2 hours after a meal and is when your blood sugar plummets.  It's a complication some post-bariatric patients get about a year out from surgery, and apparently I am part of that group.  Non-WLS people can have experience R.H. by eating very high carb unbalanced meals, or by diabetics injecting themselves with too much insulin.  Studies have shown that starting 6 months post-op the pancreas of WLS patients (particularly the gastric bypass patients like myself) have a big increase in insulin reactivity.  One study I read said that the reactivity increases 20 times normal (duadenal switch and gastric sleeve WLS patients had a 6 time increase).   It's part of the same mechanism that reverses our diabetes with surgery, but in overdrive.

So, what happened?  Last night I made homemade black bean soup from a bariatric-friendly recipe, and had a bowl with some cheese sprinkled on top for dinner.  I also ate 1/4 of one serving of a baguette, a rare grain "treat".  I had eaten the black bean soup acouple times before as part of a meal - eating 1/4 of a serving along with 3/4 serving of my favorite lentils/onions/ greek yogurt/ cheddar cheese dinner.  Then about 1 1/2 hours later I went to the gym and hopped on the treadmill, because I hadn't gotten my 10,000 steps in for the day yet and it was TOO COLD to go walking outside.

Looking back, my first clue that something was wrong was that about 20 minutes into the walk I realized I was sweating.  Sweating?  From walking?  Ridiculous - I jog 5ks now, why would walking for 20 minutes make me break out in a sweat?  I decided that the gym must have bumped up the thermostat, and since I was on the top floor I was just getting an extra dose of heat.  I was trying reading while I was walking and I started having trouble reading at about the same time.  Of course, that wasn't how I was thinking of it then - I thought "Wow, suddenly the light reflecting off the screen of my Kindle is making it hard to see the words" and "Huh, I'm losing the thread of this chapter - maybe I shouldn't try reading while walking, I'll just turn it off and watch the TV.  Then I started feeling a little clumsy and irritable.  My brain started to signal "Hey, maybe you've done enough" at about 27 minute, but I thought "Nah, just 3 more minutes..."  By the time the 30 minutes was up I was definitely not feeling great. I felt light-headed, sweaty, and when the machine tried to add an additional 5 minutes of cool down walking I got mad.  I got mad at a treadmill.  Yeah, they should list that among symptoms - if you start to fume at inanimate objects, you might want to check yourself for hypoglycemia. 

Compare this to how I usually feel after a 35 minute jog - warm but not sweaty, sharp, and pleased with myself.

So I went down the stairs carefully because I felt a little dizzy.  "Must have not had enough water..." I thought.  So I drank some and headed into the basketball courts where my kids were playing.  I saw my one son, but didn't see my other son.  Then I realized that the other son was standing next to where my first son was sitting - weird, how did I miss that?  My younger son wanted to stay, so I went to sit down.  Then my older son said he wanted to get home and I agreed.  By this time I had decided that I must not have had enough protein that day.  I had only logged my breakfast so far (15 grams of protein), and had a Quest bar for lunch (20 grams) and I knew that the black bean soup wasn't as protein dense as lentils... yeah, that must be it, I was low on protein.

For my non-WLS readers, most adults only need about 45 grams of protein a day.  Post-bariatric surgery we aim for 60 - 80 grams.  Our bodies metabolise things quite differently, and having to live on great reduced calories requires a large protein load to reassure our bodies that we are not - in fact - starving after having been shipwrecked on a deserted island (in which case our bodies would start to consume it's own muscle tissue in addition to fat, BAD). 

So I called my husband as I started the drive home, explained I was low on protein and not feeling great, that my 12 y.o. was complaining of being lightheaded as well (meanwhile he started telling me from the backseat that he wasn't lightheaded and never said that). My younger son backed me up saying that my older son HAD said he was light-headed, but at this point I realized that I wasn't even sure what he had said any more, because I was feeling confused and irritable.  I SHOULD have realized "That means you shouldn't be driving, dummy!" but I didn't.  Luckily we got home safe and sound.  My hubby was waiting in the driveway with some cheese for me.  I ate half of it and started making some popcorn for my son.  I finished the cheese, had 2 cups of popcorn and went online to log the rest of my food for the day. 

Wow!  I hadn't realized that the disparity between the protein in black beans and lentils were so huge.  I always try to eat between 20-23 grams of protein in a meal, and apparently even with the cheese on top, I had only had 11 grams.  I ate another 1 1/2 ounces of cheese to bring me up to 60 for the day.  My overall calories had been low, too.  Good thing I had eaten some popcorn (I had no idea how good until this morning).  OK, everything looked better.  I signed off and went into the other room to sit with my family while they watched TV.  Within 15 minutes I fell sound asleep.  My husband woke me up and walked me upstairs to bed.  I had horrible dreams about feeling confused and thinking I was having a TIA (mini-stroke).  It wasn't that far off.  My brain was being glucose deprived. 

This morning I woke up feeling much better and something clicked.  Reactive Hypoglycemia.  I went online and reviewed studies and articles until I was sure.  It wasn't just lower protein, it was lower protein mixed with higher carbs (although not enough to make me dump) and then working out (even though it was low intensity) two hours afterwords - which is right about when my blood sugar plummetted.  I rushed through the low level and landed in moderate hypoglycemia and luckily had the popcorn and cheese before it got to severe (which includes seizures, unconsciousness, and potentially death).  If I hadn't eaten the popcorn it might have been worse.

To treat hypoglycemia you eat a small amount of carbs paired with protein (in my case, cheese and popcorn).  Non-WLS people might drink juice or eat a small amount of candy to boost up their blood sugar short term until the protein kicks in, but in gastric bypass patient that will cause a potential dump and a larger blood sugar crash shortly after, putting them in greater danger.  In non-WLS someone might have hypoglycemic symptoms after not eating at all for a long time, or about 1-2 hours after eating a huge amount of carbs (like 120 grams) and no/ low protein.  I ate about 30 grams of carbs, but only 11 grams of protein and BAM!  Lessons learned... whew. 

A big thank you to all my WLS friends who have written and talked about their experiences with R.H. - it was remembering your experiences that helped all of this make sense his morning. 

One fun/ funny experience to share - I was on Zappos' Facebook page and saw joint contest with Delivering Happiness and Tout.com where you shared a 15 second video of what or who inspires you for a chance to win a $500 Zappos gift card.  SWEET. I need new waterproof snowboots, and had been wrestling with whether or not I can afford some nice ones...plus heck - that could be several pieces of new clothing!  So, I made the video about how my Weight Loss Support Group inspires me and posted it, checking the box that said "only you" can view this on your timeline.  Imagine my surprise when my friends started commenting on it!  Great comments, too - saying I was cute, adorable, and my favorite "HHHHOTTT!"  What a great reminder that in our internet world, just because it says something will not be seen doesn't make it TRUE!  I'm so grateful for the support of my family and friends, and grateful that the thing that inspired me wasn't embarrassing or "private" in any way.   Here's hoping I win the gift card!
 

Bariatric Betty - Swimsuit Edition, 9 mo. post-op

OK, I'm feeling brave.  Still scared, but I figure if I can't share these pics here, where can I show them???

In January, after I had lost 25 pounds pre-op, my family went on a vacation to Kalahari Resort (a wonderful indoor waterpark).  I was wearing size 18/20 swimsuits then, and on our second day I asked my family to take some "before" pictures of me.  They weren't pretty.  I didn't expect they would be, but I wanted to document how I looked before surgery, and the swimsuit shots sure did that.  I didn't know if I would ever show these pictures to anyone, but figured if I did, it would be when I was at goal, and accompanied by new pictures of me in a smaller swimsuit. 

Fast forward 10 months.  I'm 9 months post-op and at my goal give or take a few pounds.  Finding swimsuits has gotten harder as I have lost weight, because my lower torso has lost weight and sizes quicker than my upper torso.  I have been wearing tankinis with different sized tops and bottoms to make sure that the bottoms wouldn't fall off and the tops would cover the girls.  Still, as my sizes have continued to change, I have had to go through several different suits to keep keep it that way.  After my most recent swim resulted in the girls starting to float up out of the top while I finished laps, I decided I had to do something drastic. 

I looked online for an athletic-cut suit that would provide decent support, would be a one piece, and would have a high enough neck that my chest would stay contained and compressed into place.  Given it being a one piece, the size would be tricky - my top is currently a 14/16 and my bottom is an 8.  I decided to forgo the skirt.  I have sagging extra skin on my thighs and below my rear, but that is what it is.  I wanted this swimsuit to swim laps with - not lounging by the pool.  When summer comes, I'll get a sarong or something. 

I found a swimsuit on amazon.com by Aquasphere that seemed to fit the bill.  Higher neck, clip around the back like a bra, chlorine resistant... I was just worried about the fit.  After looking at the size chart several times I decided to try a size 10.  Any bigger and the leg holes would show way more than leg, any smaller and I knew the girls wouldn't fit.  Thank goodness they are a lot more compressable now!  It came in today and worked surprisingly well.  ***Unsolicited recommendation for other WLS women out there - the cut on this suit covers a lot of excess skin that other swimsuits don't. 

I showed it to my husband and kids and they all gave it the thumbs up.  My husband pointed out that the kids could now really see the extra skin on my legs and stuff, but that "Mommy's not embarassed about that, and that's cool."  I reinforced it saying "Yeah, it's kind of like having a scar after being shot - you're grateful to have survived and don't mind people noticing because it's a reminder that you survived.  All my fat got too small for my skin."  The kids kind of nodded and said "Yeah, it's nice." with prompting.  I started thinking maybe it was time to take the "after" pics but wasn't sure.   My husband thought I should just wear it around the house for the rest of the evening!  Hah!  I decided to go change.

I was on my way upstairs when someone rang the doorbell and without thinking I opened the door.  That poor election volunteer!  I'm sure she didn't expect to have a middle-aged woman wearing a swimsuit open up the door on an October evening in Ohio.  Oh, well.  I apologized and answered her questions.  When I closed the door I thought - well, if I can have a conversation with a total stranger in this swimsuit, I guess I'm as ready as I'm going to be.  So here we are; front and side views of before and after surgery.

 

 

I've lost over 70 pounds since the first picture was taken (I don't have a full length picture of myself in a swimsuit at my heaviest - but I think I'm grateful for that).  I've lost over 10 inches around my waist, 10 inches around my chest, even 5 inches from my thighs, 3 inches off my biceps and one cup size.  Whew.  Thanks for sharing this journey with me.  It's not over by any means - I will be working to continue to maintain my weight loss and improve my health (mental and physical) for the rest of my life.  And I'm so grateful to have this blog and my supportive readers.

Bariatric Betty's a shadow of her former self - PICS!

I'm blown away.  After seeing some pictures people had taken of them "wearing" a pair of pants they used to fit in pre-surgery by fitting both legs into 1 leg of the pants, I decided to try it.  So yesterday I dug through my old clothes and couldn't find any of my old size 20 pants - I donated a lot of clothes right after surgery.  But, I did find a pair of size 18 jeans and tried it.  It worked!  The funniest thing was that they were tightest around my calves and ankles, the THIGHS fit in easily.  So when I went to visit my father-in-law with my boys I had a documenting session.  This is the picture my son Justin took of me!

Seriously?  Holey cow. 

So, the second part of my documenting was the body tracing.  Flashback: the weekend before my surgery, my younger son Ian and I were talking and I realized that even though I thought I had explained the surgery really well to him, he thought I would be coming home from the hospital skinny, or at least signifigantly smaller!  So, in an effort to explain the reality, I laid down on a piece of posterboard and had him trace my torso.  Then I filled in some of the internal organs involved in red (a little hard for you to see on the pink posterboard, but it worked for him and that's who I made it for).  Then I used a blue marker to show where the cuts would be made on my skin, and what the surgeon would do on the inside.  Then I explained that when I got home, the outline of my body would still be the same, that is would take months of my new eating and exercise for it to get smaller.   I ended up cutting it out yesterday and laid it against a blue background.

About 5 months post-op I was curious to see how my "new" body would compare to the old one, so I laid down on the pink posterboard again and had my son trace me again.  That's the smaller outline you can see inside.  I was surprised (and pleased) to see that it had changed that much at that point.  Then I decided that when I had reached my equivalent of "goal weight" (my doctor never set a number, but I had suggested being in the 150s and he thought that was great) I would do it again.  That evolved into thinking that I would have my son trace me again on a different piece of posterboard and cut it out so I could lay it over the old me. 

Now I'm in the 140s (never really thought that could happen 8 months ago) and my guess is this is pretty close to my final weight.  I'm down to 28.3 % body fat I would like to see that go down a little (healthy is considered 25), but I think that will be more turning fat into muscle, so the scale won't change that much.  95 pounds down from my initial weight.  So, time for the tracing! 

OK, I have to say that my son's tracing must have angled in under my muffin top, my chest, and the rest of me, and apparently when I lay down my bat wings go underneath the rest of my arm.  I considered having him retrace me and tell him to try to make sure the chalk went straight down - there were a couple spots that his tracing seemed to have two different tracks (I cut on the larger one).  But then I decided no - he had done all the other tracings of me without directions like that - he might have been angling those as well.  So you can see from my picture at the top that my arms are not stick-like - so take this as more as a perspective, not reality - but WOW!

So after I spent a while wrapping my head around THIS I realized something else.  I lost 30 pounds BEFORE the pink one was made.  My pink self could have been BIGGER.

This shows me as literally a shadow of my former self.  But I don't see myself as a shadow.  I see myself as distilled, or concentrated.  The essence of me, with the excess and unneccesary boiled away by walking, jogging, swimming.  I am distilled.  I am high proof. 

Bariatric Betty has an attitude

It's all in the attitude.  How you interpret what happens around you, when you hear bad news, when you hear about something wonderful that someone has done...  Your personal take on everything is shaped by your attitude.

I'm praying for all the families and friends of the victims in Aurora, Colorado.  I'm praying for the family of the shooter.  And while I cringe in horror at the unspeakable violence, I give thanks that more didn't die.  It seems amazing to me that with 70 people shot, the fact that the deaths were limited to 12 very loved people is close to miraculous.  I think about the girl who wasn't injured but stayed in the theater instead of escaping so she could keep pressure on the neck wound of her friend, or the boy who died shielding his girlfriend and I find inspiration.

Does this mean I find the silver lining in everything?  No.  Am I always positive?  Definitely not.  But I try to make a concious choice to react in a positive way as much as I can. 

This morning I was getting ready for couch-2-5-k training, getting ready to finally start week 5 after delaying it in hopes that my sons would catch up.  The thought of jogging 3 5minute 1/2 miles with 3 minute walks in between was stressing me out a bit, and I was nervous on how I would handle it.  I had told the kids that they should jog as long as they could and then walk for a while.  Before we even left for the rec center, my almost 12 year old was complaining.  "I hate training."  "I REALLY hate training days."  "I don't want to train."  "Training is boring."  "It's too hot and humid to train." This last one was funny given that we train inside on an air conditioned track.

Attitude.  You know - I can handle the kids not being able to jog as much as me.  It's disappointing, and I wanted them to be able to run my first race with me, but I'll get over it.  It's more important that they are being active and healthy.  But the attitude...


I repeatedly said "I understand that's how you're feeling, but we're still going.  Please stop complaining."  When we got there, the complaints turned to "Can I do it on the treadmill?  This is so boring.  At least there I can watch TV."  No, start walking the 5 minute warm up.  Immediately he started walking slower and fell behind my 9 year old and I.  I never saw him jog.  He says he did "for a little" before his leg started to hurt. 

I got so frustrated that after I lapped him three time while he was complaining I just tuned him out for the rest of the workout.  When I finished and was tired and sweaty he started making excuses while simultaneously complaining some more.  I told him I didn't want to hear it.  That I would talk to him later, but that if I talked to him right now I was going to yell at him, and I didn't want to yell at him.

How do kids learn that it is the hardest things that bring the most satisfaction when you accomplish your goal?  How do they learn to stick it out, to push themselves, and to not be afraid to fail?  I can tell them to do stuff, I can show them by example, I can cheer them on and express disappointment or give them consequences if they bail.  But how do you get them to start making that choice to endure, to grow, and to surpass themselves?  Whatever the key is, I haven't found it yet. 

I'm going to try to talk to him about it shortly, now that I've had a shower and lunch.  He has dreams that on various days include the NFL, being a computer game designer, a chef, and a police officer.  No matter what your dreams are, to succeed in life you have to keep going when you're bored, or frustrated, or unhappy.  He did Tai Kwan Do for 5 years and earned his black belt when he was 9.  That was when we could drag him to practices and tell him that he HAD to do his best, and he would.  That last year as he tested and prepared for his black belt I thought he got it.  At least for Tai Kwan Do.  I hoped that would carry over into the rest of his life.

I don't need either of my kids to be gold medalists, millionaires, or elected to an office to feel I've succeeded as a parent.  I need them to be able to take care of themselves, work hard, do their best and be able to feel proud of their accomplishments without needing external rewards.  There's a lot of room to grow here.
Since we left the rec he has been making an effort to be helpful and respectful.  He knows he's in trouble.  I hope I can impart more wisdom than anger.  And then he will be helping me with chores for the rest of the day.  After making my morning harder than it needs to be, he can help make my afternoon and evening easier. 

Bariatric Betty says "no" to brunch, and rape jokes

This last weekend my parents invited us to join them for brunch at their independent living facility.  They reassured me that scrambled eggs would be available, and that the kitchen staff would be happy to prepare an omlet or a veggie patty for me.  They did everything they could to make sure I would be set as a vegetarian post-WLS person that they love.  And it was not fun.  Beyond not fun, I would say that the morning of going there I realized I felt like I was about to do my taxes.  In front of an audience. 

I got irritable that morning, and it only grew when I got an email from my mom letting the whole extended family know that she was going to have my dad take a family picture while we were all there.  Great.  So now I'm hoping I don't get anything stuck in my pouch and have to puke in front of everyone, don't have dumping that leads to explosive diarrhea in front of everyone, and no matter what happens I should plan on being photographed.  I don't know what I would look like in a photo after dumping, and I don't want to find out. 

Before we left I told my husband "This is going to be the last time I accept an invite to go out there for a meal."  Given that he had been sensing my stress and irritability with the situation all morning, it is understandable that his response was "Thank you!" 

I made it though brunch without having to make a run for the bathroom, although there were a couple minutes when it was willpower (go down, dry eggs, go DOWN).  And I looked fine for the picture.  Then I talked to my parents about it and explained that I don't want to make plans to see them or anyone else around meals when it's avoidable.  If it's a matter of me spending a whole day with someone, then obviously I am going to eat with them.  But if it's about spending a few hours together, let's plan BETWEEN meals if we can.  Meals aren't fun social situations for me anymore.  In the best of circumstances they are a time I'm trying to do something I need to do and hope I do it well and don't make myself sick.  On a poorer mental health days they are a time I might feel judged, anxious, tempted, and/ or self-concious. 

My parents took this very well, and understood I didn't want to avoid them or think their brunch/ dining room was bad.  They even suggested we could try doing something less meal-oriented for Christmas/ Hanukkah (I think we'll probably have a serve-yourself buffet in the kitchen instead of a sit-down dinner this year) and Thanksgiving (that one I don't see myself changing).  I don't want to deny my kids or husband chances to have great experiences with family and friends (or myself, for that matter), but having those experiences with me as a stress case definitely lowers if not wipes out the net gain. 

So now on to a more volatile subject.  Rape jokes.  For the past few days I have been reading on www.cnn.com about fallout from a comedian who likes to make vulgar and misogynistic jokes about women.  Apparently he was doing a show and make a joke about someone being raped and when a woman from the audience spoke up and said "That's not funny".  He responded by then making jokes about how funny it would be for multiple men to rape that woman, right then. 

Yesterday I was reading an article written by two women who were talking about why some people are able to find these situations humorous.  They talked about how it is partially because of the perpetuated myth of rape victims "bringing it on themselves" - by how they dressed, by getting drunk, by being in a bad neighborhood, by being alone with someone... That even well-meaning police officers and public officials may inadvertantly contribute to this when they are warning of a serial attacker in a neighborhood and say "Women are advised not to wear tight or revealing clothing, be walking alone..." etc.   That to some men, they twist these words of advice into a judgement that says "if you wear tight or revealing clothing, or walk alone, you are willing to put yourself at risk of being raped".  Never mind that I would be willing to bet that most rape victims aren't wearing tight or revealing clothing at the time of their attack. That some are in fact wearing burqas.  Or onesies.

This concept, of somehow being a willing rape victim, is insane.  Some women will dress in revealing clothing, go out, and look to hook up and have sex.  That is completely UNRELATED to someone wanting to be raped.  Rape is not about sex, it is about violence.  Men who rape are not enjoying sex, they are enjoying hurting someone.  In my opinion, they are less than men because they have lost their humanity.  They are simply violent male mammals.  But people who find rape jokes funny turn this around - they see the women as less than human, as female mammals that can be used to bring them pleasure.  They don't see them as daughters, mothers, sisters and grandmothers. 

Current statistics say that 1 in 6 women in the United States have been attacked.  So this comic probably knows several.  I don't want to challenge him (or even write his name and give him any more audience than he already has).  I would like to challenge the women around him, and everywhere.  If you have been attacked and you are emotionally able to do this - tell the men in your life what that did to you.  The physical pain.  The shattering of your concept of being safe.  The fear that prevented you from having healthy relationship with men for however long.  The fear that may have caused you to be unhealthy - maybe like me you ate yourself into a cocoon that you felt would keep an attacker from picking you (again).  If enough of us share the reality of being attacked, more men will understand there is no humor in it.  Maybe even that comic.

In this train of thought I made a specific choice today.  I usually wear loose fitting tops, partially because most of my clothes are too big at this point, partially because I don't like my chest being defined most of the time.  And hiding my muffin top as well.  :)  But part of the not liking my chest being defined is because of not wanting to be sexualized, or for some twisted person to identify me as a potential target.  Today I thought "I can wear a top that shows my shape and not be a target, so I will."  When I walked my dog two miles around my neighborhood this morning I didn't have makeup on or look super-attractive, but I wore a top that FIT.  And I wasn't scared.  Here's a picture:

Bariatric Betty's mistaken identity and favorite tools

This past week I confused the heck out of three people.  Two of them were friends who hadn't seen me for months.  In addition to my ongoing weight loss, I also had to start wearing glasses for the short term - my extended wear contact were causing some scarring on the inside of my eyelids.  Ouch.  So I'm restricted to wearing glasses (which I hate) for several weeks.  So a slimmer me, with glasses, and my hair looks different with the hair loss catching up with me (plus not styling normally with the glasses).  Understandably I'm giving come friends double takes.

My third person was a bit more amusing/ disturbing.  I was at the community Rec Center doing our Couch 2 5K workout last Friday with my 9 and 11 year old boys.  It was the first workout of week 4, so predictably I was extra sweaty looking at the end.  My boys actually couldn't finish the workout but I did (yay me).  Then I headed over to the free weight area to do some crunches before meeting them downstairs in the lobby.  As I reclined back on an exercise ball, someone tapped on my leg and said "Excuse me, how old are you?"  Huh?  I sat up, saying "I'm 41" while a startled older man on staff stammered "Oh, I'm sorry, you didn't have to tell me your age."  Huh squared?? He did just ask me my age, so I presumed I did need to tell him for some reason... although I didn't know what.  Looking embarrassed he explained that he thought he saw three young boys coming off the track and followed one of them (me) over to the weight area to check to see if I was old enough to work out there. 

I can understand people not recognizing me right away, but thinking I'm a boy?  The 36-DD bra wearing woman, a young boy?  OK, I was wearing an old (over large) t-shirt, and my hair is short, but a boy?!?  The gentleman apologized, and I laughed it off saying I'd rather be mistaken for a young boy than an old woman.  I think.  One of his friends cracked up and said "He sure does have a way with the ladies, doesn't he?"  I do have a confession.  As soon as I got home to shower I put on something that fit better with some earrings and makeup!  My pride can handle it once, but not twice in a day! 

I decided I wanted to share some of my favorite tools that I've found on my journey so far, and hope that they might be ideas some of my readers would like/ could incorporate. 

First I will share my favorite food and beverage storage system: Lock & Lock containers!
http://www.amazon.com/Lock-24-Fluid-Bisfree-Sports-2-9-Cup/dp/B005074CNO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1341879450&sr=8-1&keywords=lock+%26+lock+bottle

This is a link to my 24 ounce water bottles.  I use 3-4 of them daily.  I use a Crystal Light / or a generic sub 2 Qt. mix to make 3 (72 ounces) of them slightly diluted.  I find that the full strength Crystal Light seems too strong nowadays.  If I make 3 of them up at one time, I know that once I've finished my first three bottles I'm on bonus fluids for the day.  The main reasons I like them, however, are the lids and wrist straps.  The lids close tightly, and the actual opening to drink from is on the smaller side.  It's not a straw or sipper, so I don't take extra air into my pouch (note to non-WLS readers - that's painful) and it doesn't come out too fast so I don't gulp it down too quickly (gulping causes reflux - it basically just gushes back up into your mouth because it can't drain through your pouch faster than quick sips).  The wrist strap leaves your hands free to carry everything else other than your water bottle!

Lock & Lock also make great water-tight, air-tight and BPA-free containers that I use daily.  I love my simmered lentils with sauteed onions, and make it up in large batches (about 14 servings at a time).  These containers are great for refrigerating or freezing individual or multiple serving sizes.  You can microwave them, throw them in the dishwasher, and toss them in your purse without worrying about leaks.  I have almost eliminated baggies from my life and use these instead for packing lunches for the rest of the family as well.  The smaller sizes only hold about 5-6 ounces, but that's a decent serving size for bariatric patients.  If my whole meal is in one, I'll use an 11 ounce ( almost 1 1/2 cups) but not fill it all the way.  The larger boxes that come in the sets are great for storing things.  I gave away several filled with cookies last Christmas.  They also make bento boxes, lunch boxes, etc.  These things aren't cheap, but they LAST and if the tabs on the locking lids break, the company will send you free replacements.  I have found that they go on sale periodically on sites like www.woot.com

Second shout out has to be Fitbit! A pedometer on steroids, a digital coach that cheers you on and lets you share your activity levels with friends (only if you want to) to encourage/ compete with each other. It also communicates all of your activity info/ calories burned with MyFitnessPal.com if you already log your food there. The $99 price tag is steep, but I can personally testify that not only is it a great motivator, if anything goes wrong with your unit, they send you another one free!!!  In my case, they sent me a free replacement when I LOST my first one.  And no, they didn't know I had a blog or ask me to talk about it.  They were just that NICE.  www.fitbit.com

Third has to be a combination of my Weight Loss Surgery private boards on Facebook and one of my favorite blogs to read:  http://www.theworldaccordingtoeggface.com/  Next to my local support group, I can't tell you how much the private support groups on facebook have helped me.  They've been sources of encouragement, information, support, warnings, and more.  Yes, we've all seen people get a little too worked up over something someone else has posted (or gotten worked up ourselves) - but so far the pros far outweigh the cons for me.  The World According to Eggface blog is FANTASTIC.  Shelley has a great sense of humor and a wealth of knowledge.  Her "A Day in My Pouch" recipes are top notch, and she shares lots of great ideas.  She also has fun giveaways.  Maybe I should look into doing some of those...

Some of my other favs include Sugar Free Torani Vanilla Syrup (especially getting the "subscription discount" on Amazon.com), my Omron Body Fat Monitor (great for scale stalls), and Quest Protein Bars (but beware a virus on their website - I get them at the Vitamin Shoppe or on Amazon).

If any of my readers have any favorite tools they want to share, please feel free to mention them in the comments, I'm always looking for new ideas.

Bariatric Betty goes to Williamsburg Part 2 - Ups and Downs

So when I left off, we had reached hot and muggy Colonial Williamsburg.  I packed a Quest Protein bar to eat at lunch, assuming that finding bariatric friendly vegetarian food would be just about impossible.  We ended up stopping at The Cheese Shoppe, where I did try a sample of a delicious Basil Cheddar (OMG!) and got a cup of fresh fruit salad to go with my protein bar.  I could only eat about 1/2 a cup of the fresh fruit salad, but that was about what I expected and shared the rest with my family. 

Later, after exploring a cool toy store with my boys, the whole group headed over to a Baskin Robbins for a cold treat.  I'm happy to say that this doesn't bother or tempt me in any way - I used to ADORE ice cream, but fear of dumping and even bigger fear of NOT dumping (non-Weight Loss Surgery readers, see note below) means I have no cravings for the stuff so far.  So I was waiting in line to place orders for everyone while the rest of the group found chairs to collapse in (did I mention it was REALLY hot?) when I got an urge to visit the restroom.  Hmm.  I asked my mother to take my place in line and went over to the women's restroom.  1 single stall, currently in use with another woman ahead of me in line.  OK, no prob.  Stronger urge.  Hmm.  Maybe there is another one nearby?  I took four steps away to look out the window to see what other storefronts looked promising and when I turned around, another woman had gotten in line where I used to be.  Problem.  Super strong urge.  I walked to the other side of the store, crossed my fingers, and YES!  The men's room was empty.  And then I comandeered it, because I was NOT going to be able to make it to another store. 

Painful.  Explosive.  Draining.  15 minutes later I made it back out, and needed to go home.  Luckily, everybody else looked almost as tired as I felt, so they were of the same mind (and worried about me).  Catching a bus back to the visitors center took long enough that I had to find another restroom, but it was almost over.  When I got back to the condo I slept for two hours, and woke up feeling normal. 


What the heck was that?  Dumping?  Off my protein bar and 1/2 cup of fruit plus maybe 0.2 ounces of cheese?  I've had all of those things numerous times without problem.  I have no idea.  But if it was, then I literally SHUDDER to think what would happen if I ever ate ice cream. 

***Note to my non-Weight Loss Surgery readers.  Dumping is a post-surgical reaction that bariatric patients can have to eating too many carbs or fat (or both).  It can involve nausea, diarrhea, rapid heart beat, feeling flushed/ feverish, and just generally feeling like something stomped on you.  Dumping is described as an adverse affect of surgery, and is not suffered by everyone.  However, many patients (including me) feel that the threat of dumping is a good negative reinforcer to help you choose healthy choices.   One of my goals is to NOT find out if I dump on high fat/ high sugar/ high carb things because if I find out I don't then that "threat" of possibly dumping goes away and things become more tempting.  What happened to me might have had nothing to do with my pouch and just more to do with the stress of the heat and the trip or a virus.

Back at the condo the family played in the pool (well, not me that day) and then played games and watched TV.  Meeting "Thomas Jefferson" was fun, and I would have loved to talk to more of the colonialists, but the real fun was watching everybody horse around in the pool, or moan because somebody else kicked there butts at a game, and knowing that nobody had to go to work the next day. 

The next day was hotter, so we again enjoyed Colonial Williamsburg briefly before heading back to swim some more.  I enjoyed my protein bar and a little cheese without incident (whew).  The next day was the hottest yet - a heat index of 110 degrees!  Even the fort of Jamestown held little interest for my sons in the face of the heat, but they toughed it out for about an hour - mostly enjoying the air conditioned archeological museum!  I was able to eat a slice of spinach quiche for lunch (without crust or any later problems), and then we settled in for an afternoon of watching rentals from Redbox at the condo.  When it cooled off there were water balloons and more time at the pool - more memories :)

That night a huge storm swept across Ohio, West Virginia, Virgina, and Maryland.  Our area was not in the path of destruction.  I'm a light sleeper, so I was up listening to the storm while the rest of the family slept.  However, it wasn't until the next morning when we starting heading out towards home that the severity of the storm became clear.  As we drove north we started seeing the power outages and hearing about the deaths. 

How blessed we were to not be caught in that!  We might have had trouble finding an open gas station for about 50 miles, been inconvienced a little, but thinking of the millions of people without power during the heat wave?  The hundreds of thousands who had damaged homes and cars?  The dozen families who were mourning the loss of loved ones - and how many people didn't know yet if their families were OK? 

We might not have gotten as many pictures as I wanted, or gotten to see the boys dress up in period clothing, or explored the ships in Jamestown.  But I got to spend a whole week with my extended family, and then we all came home safe.  And thanks to my hyper planning for my pouch and family's needs - we even had enough water and food to eat (and offer to others off the highway) while we searched for gas stations.  I came home feeling lucky and loved by my family.  What more could I ask for from a family vacation.?

P.S. - I did, however, find myself hoping I DIDN'T win the VA Lottery I bought a ticket for while I was there, because I didn't want to have to drive back there to claim a prize.  I guess that is a good sign of road trip exhaustion: when you find yourself saying "I hope I didn't win thousands or millions of dollars because that would meam more driving!" LOL. 

P.P.S - I was also surprised to find that I actually lost weight on the trip while I ate the same calories and had less exercise for a whole week!  Bonus.  I am taking this as an indicator that maybe my intake of calories needs to go up a little now that I'm back on the high activity horse.  And happy to be done with my first stall!

Bariatric Betty goes to Colonial Williamsburg part 1 with pics!

Do we ever love home as much as when we have just returned to it?   My family just returned from a one week road trip to Colonial Williamsburg and we are revelling in sleeping in our own beds and getting back into our routine.  I was even looking forward to resuming my training for Couch 2 5K yesterday!

This blog entry is mostly about the challenges and outcomes of my first trip after weight loss surgery, not about family vacation fun - although I'll mention so of that too. :)

I had a lot of anxiety planning for this trip - eating in front of others, what would I eat, having clothes that fit...  things that I have never thought about on a family vacation before.  Add in the normal planning for traveling with kids and I was pretty busy.  I packed enough Quest protein bars that I could eat 2 a day if I needed to.  I also pre-made and froze cooked lentils with sauteed onions (4), and packed lots of crystal light (and the 4 water bottles I use every day), in addition to foods for the rest of my vegetarian family.  We were staying at a Comfort Inn and Suites halfway there, then at the Historic Powhatan Resort (condos with full kitchens) for 4 nights there, and then a Fairfield Inn and Suites on the way back.  My parents generously offered to take all of us (including my brother and nephew) on this trip, or we could never have swung such luxury!

Prior to leaving we found the Summit Diner in Brentwood, PA for our first meal on the road and I was able to eat more-fried egg & cheese-than-omlette without incident.  In a restaurant - with strangers around!  First fear conquered!  Yes, I have eaten out a few times since surgery, but it makes me nervous (what if something gets stuck in the pouch and I get sick?) and most times I have actually packed something from home to eat.  The rest of the family was thrilled with the veggie burgers, mac and cheese, and fried green beans.  I used to LOVE fried green beans - and tried one small bite.  Not even remotely tasty, mostly it just tasted oily.  That must be a change in my taste buds, because my picky son was wolfing them down like they were ambrosia from the gods. 

One good thing about driving 5-6 hours in a day: you have no problem getting your fluids in!  Having my 24 ounce water bottles with diluted crystal light in the cup holders meant that I had already drunk 72 ounces before dinner. That night in Hagarstown we went out to Ruby Tuesday, where I identified myself as a bariatric surgery patient and was allowed to order off the kiddie menu and got the salad bar.  One plate of shredded cheese, shredded hard boild egg, and a little diced apples with yogurt sauce and I was good.  I tried a bite of a mini zucchini patty, but without the condiments, pickles, tomatos, lettuce and bun it just didn't do anything for me.  Which is fine - because I don't want to eat for experience any more, I want to eat to LIVE.

OK - I promise you won't have to listen to a description of EVERY meal on my trip.  Just sayin'. 

One downside of driving all day is that there was little opportunity for exercise.  So while the kids whooped it up in the tiny hotel pool, I hopped on the elliptical and got in twenty minutes.  I hoped that walking around Williamsburg/ Jamestown/ Yorktown would help that not be the situation for the rest of the week.  My Fitbit was disappointed in me this last week, but I wasn't - I did the best I could.

A big shout-out to the folks at the Historic Powhatan Resort - the booking company my parents used MESSED UP our reservations and only 1 of the two condos ended up getting reserved.  They did have other units, but couldn't offer the deal that my parents had been given on the third party site.  While my parents were trying to sort it out with the booking company, the manager decided to override their own prices and give us the second unit for the deal price after all.  We weren't able to be next to each other as planned, but were close.  They could have easily stuck us with double the price and then let us duke it out with the booking company for reimbursement.  The condos were great - spacious and well air-conditioned (this turned out to be critical), two bathrooms in each (wow!), and of course my kid's favorite part - a large flat screen HDTV.  The pools were fantastic!  They had a "eighteen and up" pool (renamed "the serenity pool" by my kids), a "5 and up" pool - rowdy, and an "all ages" pool in addition to a kiddie pool and jacuzzi.  Whew!  That's a lot of poolage - and was honestly where we had most of the fun of our trip.  Here's a picture of my parents and I enjoying a moment while we were watching the kids in the pool.

Yes, I voluntarily had my picture taken while wearing a swimsuit.  Weird.  Even when morbidly obese I went swimming with my kids, so wearing a swimsuit is nothing new.  The new part is wanting to share a picture that includes me wearing a swimsuit!  

Since we were able to cook breakfast and dinner in our condos every night, food/ pouch worries were gone for those times - Yay! 

Our first day into Williamsburg and it was HOT.  90 degrees and humid at 9am .  And that was the coolest weather we experienced for the rest of the week.  This is a picture my father took of all of us in front of the Govenor's Palace right after we got there.  As the day got hotter everyone became less willing to pose for pictures, so there won't be many group shots in my scrapbook ;)

In my next blog entry - more pics, a pouch meltdown, and happy memories...

Bariatric Betty Faces the Inevitable

So I knew this time would come - the Stall.  When anyone loses weight, they go through periods of time when they don't see much progress.  The first couple weeks/ months are usually full of rewards like watching the numbers on the scale go down steadily, fitting into new sizes of clothes.  It's great!  But at some point your body say "Hold on, let me adjust." and your numbers stop going down. 

In the past, this was very hard for me.  I would be following the plan, eating healthy, working out, and want to see results.  One way to get out of a stall is to eat less, another is to workout more.  When I was a teenager I did both those things repeatedly until I wasn't eating for days and started passing out.  Not good.

In my adult life I have understood that stalls happen, and yes - you can shake up your exercise routine and sometimes it will start the losing again.  But once you're on a healthy low calorie diet, eating less will not help weight loss, it will start a process where you body will go into starvation mode and hold onto weight in an effort to "save" you.  And if you increase your exercise, you have to be prepared to keep the same level of exercise.  So when I was on weight watchers and started biking 5-6 miles a day it helped me earn points and lose more weight - but when I couldn't bike that much any more I gained it back - because my body adjusted to mega exercise and when I went down to just being active the weight stopped coming off, and eventually started to come back on.

Imagine swearing off your favorite foods, working out over an hour a day, eating less and feeling hungry most of time, and then the weight stopped coming off and you were STILL OBESE.  Still not fitting into regular sizes and still getting the looks and comments from rude people who thought you were lazy and lacked self control, and still having major health issues.  After months of dieting - 6 months, 9 months, a year.  Still being obese.  After a while, you start thinking "Why am I doing this if I'm still going to be obese???"

So here is the change - I have hit a stall, and been warned it can last weeks to months, but this time, I am already NOT OBESE.  I am already NOT DIABETIC.   I already have a lot more energy and abilities - thanks to the surgery I was able to change enough things before this stall to be prepared to stick it out.  I already know it's worth it, even if I don't lose another pound.  But I do want to lose more!

I also prepared for this in another way - I have been measuring my body to see the changes in inches as well as pounds, and monitoring my body fat percentage.  I have not lost weight and my body measurements haven't changed for almost two weeks, but my body fat percentage has gone down 1.2%!  That means that I lost over 2 pounds of fat and gained that much muscle.  So I am making progress, this isn't a stopping point, it just means my progress isn't as easily measured or observed.


I am also continuing to up my physical fitness with the couch25k program.  Yesterday we started Week 3, where we doubled the longest time we had jogged so far.  I have to say, I really like this program and would encourage other non-runners to try it.  You can find it at www.coolrunning.com.   I keep waiting to get to a point where I say "Oh my gosh, this is too much!" but it really keeps you progressing at a good pace.  Was I tired after the longer runs?  Yes.  Was I happy to see the time was up and slow down to a walk - you bet.  But I'm not scared of doing it again tomorrow.  My boys are continuing to do really well on it, too.  My older son finally got sweaty yesterday at week 3 - yay, we caught up with his physical fitness level!  My younger son handled the bump up yesterday incredibly well.  He doesn't want to talk about how well he's doing while we're doing it, but at the end he says "it wasn't that bad".  For him and running - that's high praise. 

Bariatric Betty has new pictures!

OK, this is a composite I made of pictures from me pre-op (20 pounds lost), 1 month post-op (total of 40 pounds lost), and 4 months post-op (total of 77 pounds lost).

Per my 11 year old son, looking over my shoulder "You look better!"  Thanks, honey. 

We started week 2 of Couch to 5K training today and it kicked things up a notch.  I was definitely sweating more than I was on the last two workouts.  We just increased the length of time we jog/ walk by 30 seconds each - but when you were only jogging 60 seconds at a time and that changes to 90 seconds, you notice! 

One of the surprise benefits of training with my boys is that we are getting positive feedback from community members observing us at the Rec Center.  Twice now people have asked if I'm their coach to which I've replied "I'm Coach Mom".  Then they've gone on to talk about how cool it is to see a family doing something like this together, how healthy it is, etc.  That's fun to hear, but it's even better for my sons to hear.  My younger son is the more reluctant participant of our group, but even he is finding it fun at times - he starts doing funny little sideways steps while jogging to make us laugh, or seeing how fast he can make his finger bounce against the railing while we're jogging (by applying just enough pressure he can make it vibrate/ skip so fast that it looks superhuman-fast).  Not to mention singing along to "We are the Champions" by Queen as we finished our last reps today. 

Since they pushed through the new level so well today I took them out to one of their favorite places - it has go karts, bumper cars, bumper boats, inflatables, and more.  They had a blast (and I got to take a break and read a little) so it was a win-win for everybody.  This is a picture from the first day we started training.  I look forward to comparing that to a picture of us when we finish our first 5K!