Sunday, November 6, 2011

Bariatric Betty is halfway there in pre-op land

45 days down, 45 days to go.  I started my medically-monitored diet October 22nd, and have been adhering to it since - the diet, the exercise, the psych qualification, etc.  45 days in and I'm either 8 pounds or 11 pounds lighter (see earlier post on my lying scale).  Either way, I've lost a size.  My neighbors could see a difference in the first few weeks (I think when I was mostly increasing tone), and I have gotten several compliments.  Mostly I enjoy the fact that I can wear my jeans again (and without the waistband hurting 2 hours later), and my shirts are loser around my belly and arms. 

I had a morbid period where I couldn't stop thinking about "what if" - you know, the 1% mortality stats with the surgery.  I know that my remaining diabetic and obese is riskier than the surgery, and I've had laproscopic surgery three times before (ovarian cysts and gallbladder) and never had problems.  But that didn't prevent me from thinking about it a lot.  I've started letters to my husband and kids.  I've asked my brother to be there for them - maybe even co-parenting with my husband for a while.  I've even thought about recording a message to Ty Pennington at Extreme Home Makeover asking him to build a house for my brother and nephew next to ours in the case of my death. 

Mostly the morbid thoughts are over now.  I'm really excited to be halfway through the qualification period.  It hasn't been too hard.  My BMI has gone down 1.5 (or 2, see again lying scale) and I'm meeting with my nutrionist and the PA monitoring my diet this week.  Now when I worry, it's about the insurance.  What if they say I'm not approved after I've gone through all of this?  I know I would appeal, and I would keep trying, but I also know it would crush me. 

I planned a family weekend at a huge indoor waterpark approximately 1-2 weeks before I anticipate having surgery.  The date wasn't my choice - it's a fundraiser for our school district.  But I feel like it's nice to have something right before my body changes forever.  Something where I can spend a lot of time with my family, making memories for all of us.  And we'll have this AMAZING suite with a kitchen - so I'm going to be able to bring all the food (or liquid) that I'll be eating then and make sure I'm compliant the whole time.  In a perverse twist - it will also give me plenty of "before" pictures of me in a swimsuit to choose from ;)

Speaking of before pictures, I had my loving hubby take a couple of me, and I'm attaching them here.  At a suggestion of a WLS friend, I took them in front of a doorway, and I will take follow-up ones there as well, that way I can see more and more doorway around me. 

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