I haven't written for a while - I've felt like I've been treading water a lot since graduation. Not specifically with my weight loss, just juggling a lot of family things. Anyway, the news blackout ends today thanks to my 10 year old son!
My son has apraxia (a motor planning disorder) and aphasia (a language disorder that makes it hard to find/ understand common words sometimes). I mention this because when he wants to discuss something, it's often something that he's been thinking about for a while and trying to figure out how to say it. As a result, he comes up with some thoughts you wouldn't expect to hear from a 10 year old, and today was one of those days.
I was driving him to a birthday party and Miley Cyrus was singing "Wrecking Ball" on the radio. For those of you lucky enough not to know this, Miley is a 21 year old former Disney star who is desperately trying to shake the Disney-good-girl image and swung naked on a wrecking ball for video for this song. So, out of nowhere, my son starts this conversation.
Him: "Mom, you know, I think Miley is pushing it too far."
Me: *Chuckle* "Yeah, I think you're right."
Him: "I mean, she's just pushing it to far. I have a hypothesis. You know, boys like to see naked girls."
Him: "But I think, really, that truly boys want to see girls not."
Me: "Oh, you mean not naked? That they would like to see them with clothes on."
Him: "Yeah. That's better. It's kind of like with you, Mom. Your brain tells you that you want to eat some frosting. But you really don't because you know it will make you feel bad. And it's kind of like that for boys."
Yup, my 10 year old just summed up Head Hunger and hypothesized that it's the same as boys thinking they want to see naked girls.
Oh, and he explained that they were talking about hypotheses at school, but that he had already learned it from watching The Big Bang Theory. That's my boy.
So what's been going on otherwise. Well, one thing that hasn't been going on is my jogging. I'm still getting in 10,000 to 15,000 steps a day, but I haven't jogged more than a couple minutes in a few months. I haven't signed up for any 5ks for about 6 months. So is it being lazy? Yes, that's part of it. I haven't been motivated to pick up the pace much.
I do have a couple valid excuses that make it easier to justify walking. One is our new rescue dog who is 5 pounds and part Chihuahua. He just can't run fast/ far. It took a while to build up his endurance to even being able to walk over a mile. Now that it's freezing out, he also can't be outside for long.
Sharing some personal health and potential TMI (feel free to skip to the next paragraph) - another is my rectocele problem. Apparently I'm now experiencing pelvic organ prolapse, which means that things aren't suspended in my pelvis the way they used to be. Sometimes that causes pressure that is a little uncomfortable, and is continuing to cause some difficulties in voiding bowel movements. In addition to that, it causes occasional incontinence, which is often brought on by bouncing (like jogging). Now there is a way around this - I can do my best to void ahead of time and not drink a lot before jogging, and wear a pad or something to catch leakage... I've talked to my doctor and she says she's ready to refer me to a surgeon anytime, but that it won't cause any harm for me to wait as long as none of my internal parts start permanently protruding externally, and it's not causing me actual pain. Neither of those things are happening. I know I will have to have the surgery at some point, but I'm just not looking forward to it, so I'm postponing it for now.
So what affect is this decrease in activity intensity having? My weight remains stable, but I have lost some muscle tone. That means I must have also gained a couple pounds of fat in exchange, but I'm not bothered by it. I'm wearing the same sizes, and I use my weight stability as a measure. I've been baking like a fiend for the holidays, and for 99% of the time I have done remarkably well in not tasting the things I bake. I have more temptations with everyday things in the house, but tend to see any change in my daily weigh-in as a reminder to "Eat Clean, D**n It!". I have decreased my daily intake to match my lower calorie burning. Seems to be working, but if I started to see creep on the scale, it would definitely be a motivator. Maybe I will start swimming laps again... no bouncing there!
I have been feeling an overwhelming sense of gratitude most days - gratitude that I'm healthy, that I have the energy my family needs from me, that my family is safe and happy and whole. As we come into the holidays I'm reminded of people who don't have these things. The anniversary of the Sandy Hook shooting is another reminder. I decided to do the 26 Acts of Kindness again this year, inspired by the Sandy Hook families. I'm getting the whole family involved, having them help think of things we can do other than waiting for opportunities to present themselves. I don't just want to buy something or donate money, I want to do things that make somebody's life a little easier or bring them a smile. I also think it helps keep us focused on others during this season of rampant consumerism. Don't think I'm preaching or trying to be an inspiration, I've got a closet full of Santa's surprises that I'll be paying the bill for this month. I'm just trying to balance that out a little :)
I hope all of you will find smiles of your own, and hopefully getting to spend some quality time with the ones you love this month. I hope you all had a Happy Hanukkah, have a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!