Naked girls, Head Hunger, and Ups and Downs

I haven't written for a while - I've felt like I've been treading water a lot since graduation.  Not specifically with my weight loss, just juggling a lot of family things.  Anyway, the news blackout ends today thanks to my 10 year old son!

My son has apraxia (a motor planning disorder) and aphasia (a language disorder that makes it hard to find/ understand common words sometimes).  I mention this because when he wants to discuss something, it's often something that he's been thinking about for a while and trying to figure out how to say it.  As a result, he comes up with some thoughts you wouldn't expect to hear from a 10 year old, and today was one of those days. 

I was driving him to a birthday party and Miley Cyrus was singing "Wrecking Ball" on the radio.  For those of you lucky enough not to know this, Miley is a 21 year old former Disney star who is desperately trying to shake the Disney-good-girl image and swung naked on a wrecking ball for video for this song.  So, out of nowhere, my son starts this conversation.

Him: "Mom, you know, I think Miley is pushing it too far."
Me: *Chuckle* "Yeah, I think you're right."
Him: "I mean, she's just pushing it to far.  I have a hypothesis. You know, boys like to see naked girls."
Me: "Okay"
Him: "But I think, really, that truly boys want to see girls not."
Me: "Oh, you mean not naked?  That they would like to see them with clothes on."
Him: "Yeah.  That's better.  It's kind of like with you, Mom.  Your brain tells you that you want to eat some frosting.  But you really don't because you know it will make you feel bad.  And it's kind of like that for boys."

Yup, my 10 year old just summed up Head Hunger and hypothesized that it's the same as boys thinking they want to see naked girls.

Oh, and he explained that they were talking about hypotheses at school, but that he had already learned it from watching The Big Bang Theory.  That's my boy.

So what's been going on otherwise.  Well, one thing that hasn't been going on is my jogging.  I'm still getting in 10,000 to 15,000 steps a day, but I haven't jogged more than a couple minutes in a few months.  I haven't signed up for any 5ks for about 6 months.  So is it being lazy?  Yes, that's part of it.  I haven't been motivated to pick up the pace much. 

I do have a couple valid excuses that make it easier to justify walking.  One is our new rescue dog who is 5 pounds and part Chihuahua.  He just can't run fast/ far.  It took a while to build up his endurance to even being able to walk over a mile.  Now that it's freezing out, he also can't be outside for long.

Sharing some personal health and potential TMI (feel free to skip to the next paragraph) - another is my rectocele problem.  Apparently I'm now experiencing pelvic organ prolapse, which means that things aren't suspended in my pelvis the way they used to be.  Sometimes that causes pressure that is a little uncomfortable, and is continuing to cause some difficulties in voiding bowel movements.  In addition to that, it causes occasional incontinence, which is often brought on by bouncing (like jogging).  Now there is a way around this - I can do my best to void ahead of time and not drink a lot before jogging, and wear a pad or something to catch leakage... I've talked to my doctor and she says she's ready to refer me to a surgeon anytime, but that it won't cause any harm for me to wait as long as none of my internal parts start permanently protruding externally, and it's not causing me actual pain.  Neither of those things are happening.  I know I will have to have the surgery at some point, but I'm just not looking forward to it, so I'm postponing it for now.

So what affect is this decrease in activity intensity having?  My weight remains stable, but I have lost some muscle tone.  That means I must have also gained a couple pounds of fat in exchange, but I'm not bothered by it.  I'm wearing the same sizes, and I use my weight stability as a measure.  I've been baking like a fiend for the holidays, and for 99% of the time I have done remarkably well in not tasting the things I bake.  I have more temptations with everyday things in the house, but tend to see any change in my daily weigh-in as a reminder to "Eat Clean, D**n It!".  I have decreased my daily intake to match my lower calorie burning.  Seems to be working, but if I started to see creep on the scale, it would definitely be a motivator.  Maybe I will start swimming laps again... no bouncing there!

I have been feeling an overwhelming sense  of gratitude most days - gratitude that I'm healthy, that I have the energy my family needs from me, that my family is safe and happy and whole.  As we come into the holidays I'm reminded of people who don't have these things.  The anniversary of the Sandy Hook shooting is another reminder.  I decided to do the 26 Acts of Kindness again this year, inspired by the Sandy Hook families.  I'm getting the whole family involved, having them help think of things we can do other than waiting for opportunities to present themselves.  I don't just want to buy something or donate money, I want to do things that make somebody's life a little easier or bring them a smile.  I also think it helps keep us focused on others during this season of rampant consumerism.  Don't think I'm preaching or trying to be an inspiration, I've got a closet full of Santa's surprises that I'll be paying the bill for this month.  I'm just trying to balance that out a little :)

I hope all of you will find smiles of your own, and hopefully getting to spend some quality time with the ones you love this month.  I hope you all had a Happy Hanukkah, have a Merry Christmas, and a Happy New Year!
 

11 months post-op with vacation pics

Next month is my first surgiversary!  This month my family went on our annual trip to the Kalahari Resort in Sandusky, Ohio.  I can not even tell you how different this trip was compared to my previous ones... I was almost brought to tears several times.  First, let me show you some pictures from our trip in January 2012  This is actually after I lost 25 pounds pre-op.

 

I smiled in those pictures only because I knew that these would be my last pre-operative pictures of me in a swim suit.  I didn't want to look at them much then, but I kept them because I knew I would want to compare them to pictures I could take a year later.  Here are the ones from this year.

 

 

OK, so the visible difference is huge.  But that's not even the big change.

 

It started when I we first got there and my sons wanted to do the Flow Rider - a simulated surfing experience.  Surprisingly, I wanted to try to do it, too.  This year I didn't care that I would be the focus of attention as I tried and then wiped out (everybody wipes out).  It's funny when people wipe out, people laugh - and last year I couldn't have handled that.  This year, I went for it.  And yes, I wiped out, but I didn't feel like people were laughing at the obese mom who flipped off the board, they just laughed at the mom who flipped off the board like everyone else.  And that difference felt huge.  I laughed, too!  I felt like a different person.  And after I flipped off I jumped right back on and performed tricks the lifeguard/ teacher showed me.  Here's a sample...

 

 

Letting go of the board with one hand to grab my foot - oooooo!



 

Letting go with both hands to pose... aaaaahhhh!

 



 

On this one I actually not only got up on my knees, I was able to sit up without balancing on my hands!  For this I got applause from the crowd and the guards.  Applause!  I'm such a ham... I loved it!

 

But here's the thing - I loved trying something new and showing off, but they weren't the moments that got me so emotional.  It was when I didn't have to worry about whether I could fit in the inner tube.  And when a guard asked me to sit in front of my son in a raft because the heavier person sits in front - and I got to smile and say "Actually, he's heavier".  Like the moment I realized I don't need to read the weight limits for the rides anymore!  And when I realized that I had so much more energy this year that I had ridden on more slides (and climbed more stairs) in one hour than I had in an entire day last year.  Last year I spent most of the time watching, and taking pictures of everyone else.  This time, I participated.  And I asked other people to take pictures sometimes, so I could be in them!  I could cross floating lilypad bridge by swinging arm over arm (think monkey bars made out of rope) with ease - I even got competitive and beat the person on the other one.

My planning for eating was thrown off by a mistake with the reservation - apparently my mistake.  According to them, the room that we've stayed in the last two years with the full kitchen is not the African Queen Suite, but the Combination Suite.  OK, it just so happens that I've requested the African Queen Suite the last two years and been given the Combination Suite?  Whatever, I know what to ask for next year.  The problem was that with no full kitchen, a lot of my meal planning was thrown off.  My husband stepped in and helped (especially the first night, when I was planning on making a big pasta dinner for everyone else).  After giving up on making pasta in the coffee pot, he figured out how to cook it in the small microwave in little paper bowl - in about 10 batches, that took over an hour!  Most of my own meals I could adjust to cooking in the microwave, but it made me really glad I had packed some Quest protein bars as a backup.  All that obsessive planning came in handy! 

It was a great three day vacation, and this has been a great first year as a post-op.  I can't wait for my 1 year post-op appointment next month!