Bariatric Betty, Centurion, has a long week

It's for real this time.  After I stepped on the scale and it read 143.4 pounds this morning I didn't get excited.  I stepped off and let it recalibrate - because it's faked me out before.  Three times later, I believe it.  I have lost 100 pounds!  My BMI is down to 25.9 from it's high of 43.2.  So, today isn't really that different than every other day that I work the program, and nothing changes other than how I'll answer people when they ask how much I've lost and my new nickname for myself.  Centurion.  Wikipedia says it was a professional officer who commanded sometimes 100, but more often 60 - 80 soldiers.  I'm in command of my body, and I've discharged 100 pounds that were not fit for service.  :)

This is not to say the road has been easy.  Last Friday I had an epic fail - my first dump from knowingly eating something I shouldn't.  Damn glaze.

Like everyone else, the news from New Town hit me hard - especially because I work in an elementary school and I couldn't help thinking of all of "my kids" as well as my sons in such a tragedy.  So I thought I was handling it well when my first thing I did after work was take my dog for a 2 mile walk.  Then my 3rd grader son got off the school bus and told me he got in trouble for telling a friend he was "going to beat the crap out of" him.  What?!?  My first response to him was "I'm just happy you're home safe - give me a hug".  But then I spent the next couple hours talking with him about why "using your words" doesn't include threatening someone.  About how some children are not as lucky as him and come from homes where they get hit - sometimes so badly that they can't live with their parents anymore.  That while he knows he wouldn't actually beat someone up, that doesn't mean that anybody else should believe that.  I prepared my husband for the possibility that he could be suspended for threatening a student.  I prepared my son for that possibility as well, explaining that if anybody threatened him I would want them to have serious consequences.  The teacher gave some consequences and defused the situation, but she would still need to involve the principal, and we wouldn't know the outcome until this week.  Then we talked about his consequences at home.  After lengthy conversation, we decided that we would try to focus on something positive and use his saved allowance for December to go shopping for Toys for Tots on Saturday.  He picked out a toy that he hopes to get for Christmas himself and paid for it.  Then he put it in the donation box and we talked about how that was going to help a kid less fortunate than him have a happier Christmas. 

Back to Friday night, and I was finishing some cookies for a coworker.  Cookies that get dipped in glaze.  I licked my fingers, and then started scooping up the drops of glaze that dripped of the drying cookies.  About 2 tablespoons later, my stomach started to feel bad.  I threw out the rest of the glaze as soon as the cookies were finished, but the damage was done.  I had to call my 12 year old in to finish making dinner while I crawled into bed.  Owwwwwwwww.  My moaning scared the heck out of my husband when he got home.  I felt nauseous as well, but there was nothing to throw up - the thick sugar water had been absorbed and I was blessed to dump.  So that's how I celebrated the 7th night of Hanukkah - being thankful for the small miracle of dumping.  My guilt over my husband having to jump in to take care of the kids while I recovered was significant.  And then he came and talked to me.  He told me that he knew I got a lot out of baking, and that I seem to do really well controlling my intake except for when I get glaze all over my fingers...  He made me a wonderful offer.  From now on, when I make the cookies with glaze, he said HE will glaze them for me.  How cool is that?  Not only is he going to help me keep making healthy choices and enjoy my hobby, now he is going to turn something that I really enjoy doing into something every better - because he is going to do it with me!  I'm so excited!  I won't be making any more until next November/ December, but now we have a plan and I'm really looking forward to it.  His idea gave me control over this ever happening again.  I'm so lucky to have him as my husband. 

Of course, having a plan for cookie baking doesn't take care of the emotions that come with the death of innocent children.  We decided that our whole family should try to look for opportunities for random acts of kindness for the next 20 days.  So far we've donated some toys, given away closer parking spots, helped a stranger find something and opened numerous doors for others.  Last year we helped pay off someone's layaway, and we'll probably look into doing that again this year.  I'll keep looking for ways to help others, be grateful for the health and safety of my family, and keep working the program. 

Speaking of work, my job has shifted again.  I'm now working the same hours but instead of being a monitor for kindergarten, 1st, and 3rdd graders during lunch and recess daily I'm working with two special needs kids (one kindergartener, one 4th grader).  They both have significant issues that require 1-on-1 attention and help eating.  Some parts of this are very fulfilling, other parts are not - like chasing after them when they bolt/ have a tantrum.  Or yesterday when the 4th grader bit my arm (luckily not breaking the skin) hard enough that it's still sore with bruising today.  The main down sides are that (except for running after them if they bolt) I don't get my extra 5000 steps in walking around like I ued to checking in on all of the kids, and I also don't have the chance to help kids with the jungle of playground drama issues they have to figure out as they get older.  My major accomplishment this week is that I've gotten my kindergartner ward to actually eat most of his lunch without running away screaming 4 days in a row.  That's huge. 

When I see kids struggling whether with special needs like autism, or behavioral issues, or just normal growing pains ("...she said she was my friend, but now she says she's not!") I want to help.  It's easier and more fun when it's helping kids be better friends than helping someone toilet or eat.  But, in both cases I feel like I'm having a positive impact on others even if I don't feel it every day.  That's something I need to feel in my life - even if they're not able to verbalize "thank you".  Luckily, my bosses have reacted positively to my request for more training so I know how to handle physical outburst more safely for both the kid and myself in the future!

My son ended up working with the school psychologist on a social story/ plan on what to do when he gets angry, which I sincerely appreciate.  While part of me wishes they had given some additional punitive conequences so he understood how seriously the schools take threatening to beat someone up, I'm glad they took the opportunity to help him figure out how to deal with tough situations in the future.  When he was first diagnosed with developmental delays and a speech disorder, we never guessed that he would be ABLE to speak well enough to get in trouble for verbally threatening someone.  So I guess as long as he has learned never to do that again, maybe I should think of this whole thing as a reminder of how lucky we are. 

Christmas is around the corner (we're an interfaith family, so we celebrate a lot of holidays) and my boys are excited.  My third grader sent a letter to Santa in his elf's backpack last night (taping it closed to make sure it didn't fall out on the trip - so cute!), and I've been handing out packages of Christmas cookies to teachers and coworkers. I pray that the holidays find all of you with your loved ones, safe and healthy, warm and thankful for your own blessings.  Heaven knows I'm thankful for mine, most of which are in the picture below.

 

Lost and found, Bariatric Betty embraces hard stuff

The fitbit is lost, long live the fitbit!  Yes, I lost my second fitbit, and have been trying to manually calculate my steps and calories burned all week - boy did it have me spoiled!  My clip/holder had broken the week before and I had contacted the customer service for a free replacement.  For that week I was clipping the fitbit directly on to my belt loops, bra straps, etc.  And on that last fateful day - I jogged with my dog after clipping it on, and came home to find it gone.  I traveled my path again twice, trying to find it to no avail.  Fitbit had already given me a replacement once for free - it wasn't reasonable to expect them to do it again.  And then a ray of light - they have a new (cheaper!) fitbit - the Fitbit Zip.  It does everything but counting flights of stairs and sleep monitoring.  That's not bad - I don't even use the sleep monitoring function.  And instead of $99 it's only $59.  OK!

So I sent an email to customer support reporting the loss of my fitbit, and on the next business day... it happened.  "We would be happy to send you a complementary replacement..."  No way.   OK, I will once again rave: Fitbit - BEST CUSTOMER SERVICE EVER.  So here is my unsolicited ad - in addition to the newer cheaper Zip, the Fitbit One (which should be out for the holidays) will have all the initial capabilities as the Fitbit Ultra - but it and the Zip will be able to interact wirelessly with Apple devices and soon select Android devices.  No more base with a cord.  Woo-hoo!  I'm just getting a replacement Ultra, but for those of you who might be considering a splurge (or who want to whisper a wish to Santa) - this will be even more amazing.   Here's a link http://www.fitbit.com/one

OK, so my scale is hovering around the same number it has been on for the past 4 weeks; we are in a stall, Houston, we are in a stall.  But, I'm not worried.  I have continued to lower my Body Fat Percentage a little at a time, so I know I'm replacing fat with muscle.   I also got my test results back from my primary care physician and they were ALL NORMAL.  All my supplements are doing their jobs, no deficiancies, no diabetes, nothing wrong :) 

I'm enjoying my job, I really get a lot out of being an elementary school monitor.  Other than basically functioning as a lifeguard/ babysitter in the lunchroom and playground, I get a chance to impact the lives some of the kids.  The kid who are bored and need a challenge - have you tried running around the track - see how fast you can get around it!  Wow - you went around the whole monkey bars by yourself look how strong you have gotten by trying every day!  Watching the girl who just lost a parent find solace in helping a special needs student.  The student that told me his "heart hurt" and the resulting conversation that ended up with a referral to child protection services.  The daily boo-boos that give me a chance to talk about how amazing and strong the human body is, that it's already working on healing itself while we walk to get a band-aid.  Explaining to the children who are sad or mad that their friend doesn't want to be their friend anymore that even friends can have disagreements - that real friends will forgive each other and play together another day.  Talking about being fair and sportsmanlike, about including others, and watching the kids grow.  It's very rewarding.  In another life I think I would love to be a guidance counselor - but in this one I appreciate the chance to help when I can and refer them to someone better qualified when it's beyond my level.  One of my NSV's (non-scale victories) this week was that I was able to run around the playground track with my 1st graders when they asked me to join them - without breaking a sweat.

Dealing with stress seems to be going better - in addition to talking with my husband, I'm choosing to walk or jog more than any other coping mechanism.  Of course, last night I had a mega-wave of PMS hormones triggering some huge irritability.  It was late, and since I was finding myself getting ticked about things that I could see weren't worth getting upset about, I elected to send myself to bed early.  I just announced that I was worn out, and asked my hubby to take over - which he graciously did.  This morning I explained why, and he actually thanked me! 

Earlier this week I realized I was starting to eat progressively more of the delicious caramel calcium chew supplements than I needed every day.  Not good.  After chatting with a reader who was asking MY advice about staying away from temptation I recognized it for what it was - an addictive behavior.  Enjoying something, turning to craving something, turning to increased consumption/ usage... That might sound extreme labeling to those of you who haven't been morbidly obese, but most of us recognize that are our overeating could be classified as addiction.  So, I threw the caramel supplements out.  Bought boring tablets.  Did I overreact?  Not in this case - I know because 1) late that day I thought about pulling them out of the trash (they were in a sealed bag) and 2) because I craved those caramel supplements for the next three days.  Were they going to make me fat again?  No.  They might have led to kidney stones because of the large doses of calcium - that wouldn't be good.  But it's more the fact that I recognize that I can't allow myself to have something that I'm going to "crave" because it grows out of control too easily with me.  Will I ever let myself have treats again?  Yes, but definitely not in my first year, and then it will be a small amount, rare, and not keeping it in my house.   Eating too much of anything is unhealthy.  Even calcium.

Yes, my head is a constant work-in-progress.  But I didn't get morbidly obese because of stellar mental health, and I am definitely earning my improved health.  By making good choices over and over again, I look forward to it not being so difficult some day.  It's not difficult every day now, and I am so grateful I have my pouch to help me! 

 

Bariatric Betty starts the school year with pics and a plan

First I want to brag - I jogged 30 minutes straight on Monday, hitting the final goal of Couch to 5k.  I would love to show you a picture of me "crossing the line" but my camera's battery died right before my son tried to take the pic.  Here's a (blurry) but triumphant pic taken with my phone a few minutes later:

My sons haven't gotten up to jogging that long yet.  My older son has started football, so for now he's off the program as he is getting PLENTY of exercise.  My younger son was really struggling to get past the 3 minute mark before he started wheezing.  At first his pediatrician and I thought it was exercise induced asthma and he tried an inhaler for a couple weeks.  It seemed to make a small difference at first, but then there was an incident in which my older son provoked my younger son and the wheezing started up at only 1 1/2 minutes into a jog.  Hmmm.  After seeing the doc again and him having us induce the wheezing by jogging around his office, his opinion (and mine) is that this is anxiety related, not asthma.  Anxiety runs in the family (as does depression) and he has long had fears that have impacted his functioning to some degree (not wanting to be alone in a room, not wanting to go up or downstairs by himself, fear of loud noises, etc). 

The pediatrician came up with a great plan to keep Ian exercising but reduce the anxiety and make this a positive experience for him.  Ian will only run for 30 seconds at a time, and then walk for 2 minutes, alternating back and forth for 30 minutes 3 times a week.  Then the next week, we shorten the 2 minutes to 1 minute 45 seconds, but keep the running at just 30 seconds each time.  He'll jog more times, increasing his aerobic activity while making it seem like he's not jogging any longer.  We'll keep subtracting 15 seconds away from the walking time and monitor how it goes.  We've done it 4 times now and Ian is responding really well. The first time he couldn't believe how easy it was, and said "This is FUN!" - yes!!!  Here's the boys celebrating my 30 minute jog with me.

Unfortunately, once we left the 2 minute walk zone (the approximate time it takes me to lap him jogging while he's walking) it meant that our workouts aren't very compatible, so I'm doing extra workouts with him and changing up my routine.

School started this week, and with it my return to working as a lunch/ recess monitor.  I love this job for two reasons: I get paid (a little) to walk around for 2 1/2 hours and I get to interact with kids (including my 3rd grader) and know what's really going on at the school.   I'm getting in 5000 - 7000 steps a day during those 2 1/2 hours.  I'm also trying to break my dog into Pooch to 5k so that I can jog with him in the morning. 

Couch to 5k would have me do 30 minute jogs 3 times a week for another week before I would be considered complete.  Between my son, my dog, and my work this is what I'm doing:  1 30 minute jog on the weekend.  Daily 40 minute walk/ jog alternating 90 second jog and 3 minute walk with my dog.  Monday through Friday 2 1/2 hours walking at work.  And 3 times a week, 30 minute walk/ jog alternating with my son.  This doesn't prepare me to jog a 5 k, but it's definitely a LOT of exercise and works with my family.

I had a lot of fun going back to school on the first day for another reason - the compliments!  I had lots of people telling me how wonderful I looked, which was fun.  I have been very open about the surgery, so everyone already knows about it and the only questions I've gotten coming back to the school now are "How much have you lost now?" and "Are you trying to lose anymore?".  I happily responded to the first by saying "90 pounds!" and to the second by saying "I'm not really worrying about trying to drop any more weight, but change more fat into muscle." 

My plan is to eventually get to something like this: jog 1-2 miles a day with my dog, walk 2 1/2 hours a day Monday through Friday, walk/ jog 30 minutes three times a week with my son, and weight/ strength training 2-3 times a week.  That might be a little ambitious, but it's my current plan.

I've been adding more fruits and vegetables to my diet when I have room.  The other night I had 1/2 serving of steamed broccoli and 1/4 of a baked potato after my protein!  Woo-hoo - living the high life!  I'm still getting in 75 - 80 grams of protein a day, so there's not much room for much other stuff, but it does make getting fruits and veggies feel like a treat.